This is something that deeply happy, long-term couples already know, and if you understand it, you can keep your relationship strong and never EVER give temptation a way to tear the two of you apart…
3 Secrets to Banishing Temptation (Forever!)
Claire, my wonderful boyfriend and I have been together 19 months seeing only each other and even talking about getting married. But I’m falling in love with another guy! When I’m with guy #2 (we work together), I feel amazing. I am really good at my job, but it feels great to hear someone say that and support me consistently. He is not even that cute, but he really understands and appreciates me, which is making me lose sleep dreaming of HIM. I never thought I would be tempted to cheat. What should I do? — Kayleigh
Hi, Kayleigh, thanks for reaching out.
First of all, there will ALWAYS be other men (and women). There isn’t ONE Prince Charming out there for you, there are hundreds of potential soulmates! Are all of them perfect? No. But so many of them have the potential to win your heart and love you forever.
And there are lots of reasons WHY people cheat, but there are is one giant flashing neon reason that you should know about, because if you know this one, you can banish your temptation to cheat and save your relationship.
Some people cheat just because they can, or they’re bored, or they don’t really care about the person they’re currently with.
But when a couple is in a committed relationship and working hard to build a life-long love, cheating happens because there’s a basic need that isn’t getting met.
It sounds like one of the things that makes you feel loved is when someone appreciates you.
That’s totally legit. It’s a powerful emotional need, and since you’re coworker is the one doing a bang-up job filling it, I’m guessing your boyfriend doesn’t know how necessary this is for you, or else he would be doing it himself…
So to banish the temptation to cheat forever, know and do these 3 simple things…
1. Know what makes you feel loved.
There are some great books on this (The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one). This temptation to cheat with the guy who actively admires and appreciates you (even when you have a rock-steady, exclusive, fabulous boyfriend) is a giant clue to a big emotional need you have. Sincere admiration and appreciation might be your Love Language. That’s what makes you feel loved.
So it makes perfect sense that this coworker of yours is filling your dreams.
And if you want to save your relationship, your job is to get your boyfriend to re-claim his place in your dreams so that there just isn’t room for any other man. 🙂
All you gotta do is…
2. Talk to your partner about it.
Tell him what makes you feel loved. And reinforce him when he gets it right.
I think you can even tell him about this temptation you’re experiencing, so that he can understand WHY it’s happening. Tell him you want HIM to be the man in your dreams…
And don’t forget, you need to learn to make him feel loved too. This is a great opportunity to start talking about and working on that.
If you’ve been exclusive for the past 2 years and are considering marriage, this is an important test for you. Couples who stick together for the long haul figure out how to successfully get through conflict together, and how to make each other feel powerfully loved and cherished.
3. And always remember THIS…
Just because you feel tempted doesn’t mean you have to act on it.
Never let the fantasy of “This guy will be SO much easier, more fun, better, etc” sway you. There ARE no short cuts to a successful long term relationship.
Even if you ran away with the new person, you’d still have to work day-by-day over many years to build THAT relationship, too.
How do you go about re-attracting your boyfriend?
Brad Browning is known as the “Relationship Geek.”
He’s been helping thousands of women across the globe win back their ex-boyfriends. His success rate is over 90%.
Even if you think your relationship with your ex boyfriend is wrecked beyond repair, what Brad has to share with you can make your boyfriend fall hopelessly in love with you again, or at LEAST give you a second chance.
NO crying and pleading.
NO begging for second chances.
In fact, if you’re guilty of one of those mistakes, chances are you’re doing something right now that is pushing your ex further and further away (and into the arms of another woman).
So do yourself a favor and check out his free video.Watch It Now!
In the video, Brad will tell you exactly how you can get your ex boyfriend back as soon as possible.
And he’ll go over some other “Deadly Sins of Relationships” as well.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — Brad will give you a number of incredibly helpful tips that you can apply IMMEDIATELY.
You have absolutely nothing to lose. Take a few minutes to hear him out. I think you’ll appreciate the insanely useful things he has to say.