Here’s the truth about what it means when you’re dating an emotionally unavailable man, and what EXACTLY you can do to almost magically get clear on the best path forward…
What defines an emotionally unavailable man?
It’s dead simple. An emotionally unavailable man is a guy who isn’t ready or interested in intimacy or commitment.
Oh, he’ll totally bang you. Sex is fine, even preferable to working at a relationship. Never confuse sex — even a mind-blowing, toe-curling session in the sack — with love.
Sometimes unemotionally unavailable men are married (to someone else). They’re often “friends with benefits” guys. Some are players, but there are also ordinary men who just don’t want to settle down for reasons of their own.
But just because a man is emotionally unavailable doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil or weird or mean. It just means he’s not interested or ready for a serious relationship.
Very often, he’ll even TELL YOU he’s emotionally unavailable.
Not in those exact words of course, but he’ll say something like,
“I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
WHY do we ignore these words? Because we think we can heal/change/reach him… See next item!
The MOST FRUSTRATING PART about dating an emotionally unavailable man is…
He blows hot and cold.
So when you finally get discouraged enough to give up on him, he’ll turn on just enough charm and attention to make you come running back, hoping the tiny crumbs of affection will turn into a feast of love.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
The only reason he turns on the juice once in a while is that he’s getting something he likes. Probably sex, but maybe just some attention on his own terms, without having to give anything in return.
A woman who keeps trying to get an emotionally unavailable man to “open up” or “share his feelings” or even just spend more time with her will be running herself ragged chasing something that she’ll never catch.
And the sad result is that you end up feeling like no matter how hard you work, you’re not good enough. Which sucks, you know?
Yeah, you already discovered this. Sorry. But hang on soulshine, help is coming!
So WHAT should I DO, if I’m dating an emotionally unavailable man?
Here’s the best part. There are some simple ways to deal with these situations, and they will save your heart a ton of misery.
1. Don’t chase, meet.
This means you have to quit doing 90% of the work in the relationship.
And happily, the best way to quit focusing so much of your energy on him is to date other people.
2. Focus on what he does, not what he says.
You’re going to get a LOT more information from his actions than you are from his words. He may say he really wants to get together with you this weekend, but when he never follows up on those plans, or suddenly bails out at the last minute, that’s a clear communication.
Any guy can be a smooth talker. Listen to what he does.
3. Name and challenge his disappearances.
If the two of you were seeing each other regularly, then he suddenly ghosts off for three weeks (months?) for no reason and with no explanation, you have a right to ask what’s going on. You also have a right to feel angry.
4. Don’t allow him to keep pushing the “reset” button.
Sometimes emotionally unavailable men will suddenly show back up in your life and pretend like absolutely nothing unusual happened. He may even try to convince you you’re making it all up.
And he’ll try to pick up exactly where you left off, without dealing with the absence.
Don’t allow yourself to be railroaded this way!
5. Set yourself a time limit.
How long will you put up with a man wasting your time and energy like this? Decide how long you’ll keep working toward change, then end it.
You deserve all the love the universe is waiting to give you, and so long as you’re facing the wrong direction, you just may not see the man who has been waiting to love you!
The words that break down his emotional walls
Did you know there is a sequence of words you can say to any man that will break open the place inside him that WANTS to completely open his heart to you?
These words are simple, yet unbelievably effective, and men CRAVE to hear them.
You can even use these words to send him a text message, or a message on Facebook, and he’ll stop whatever he is doing and feel an overwhelming desire to make you HIS forever…
Go here now and discover these crazy-powerful words:
EVERY woman can use these words to talk directly to a man’s heart and make him instantly “lower his walls” and want total trust and open communication with you – the same things you want from him!
Stop wasting your valuable time, beautiful woman. Create the change you desire NOW.