You’ve been dating but not finding the man you dream of. Most of these guys are losers. This one particular bad habit (and mental approach) may be the exact thing that’s blocking you…
Why you’re not finding the man you dream of…
“I have a very high sex drive and I enjoy sex, but I feel like looking back I’ve used sex to keep a man interested in me. I have no idea how to attract a man without sex. Even if I don’t dress sexy on dates that’s still all they want from me. A very good psychic told me I need to do some inner self work and stop using sex to get what I want but I don’t know how to do that. Sex is supposed to be an important part of a relationship. Yes I know not the only part, but I’m either using sex to try get him interested in me or withholding sex to get him interested. But I don’t know how to erase sex from the equation. I have a high sex drive and I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.” — Nadine
Sex doesn’t equal (or even grow into) a relationship
Hi, Nadine. It sounds to me like you are pretty clear on what’s happening. You offering (and enjoying) sex and hoping it will turn into a relationship.
Doing the same thing over and over again is not likely to give you different results. I don’t think your main issue is your sexuality, it’s your self-discipline.
If you wanted to lose 50 pounds (which is a big goal, like a life-long relationship is a big goal) you would NOT expect it to happen on your first trip to the gym. It would probably take a lot of trips to the gym, In ADDITION to a better plan for how you nourish your body.
Your relationship game plan is the same: ditch (or isolate, see below) the negative habit that’s holding you back, and start doing the relationship-nourishing things that are going to get you where you want to go. Specifics below!
1. Build yourself a BIG, gorgeous dating plan.
The best way to begin finding the man you dream of is to decide to date a specific number of guys (you pick your number, and think of it like trips to the gym and be BIG, be generous!). Resolve NOT to have sex on the first three dates with that number of guys.
If you just want the occasional fling or the booty call, that’s fine (think of them as “cheat” days), but those guys exist OUTSIDE your specific relationship building pool. Remember, if all your days are cheat days, your plan will never work.
Now set a timeline. Just as if you were going to lose 50 pounds, give yourself a reasonable amount of time to date your number of guys. Like, for example, a year.
2. Align your dating pool with your personal interests and life goals.
Try finding the man you dream of — and lots of other men besides — while you’re doing the things you love most. Whether that’s hiking, running, cooking, music, volunteering at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter, etc.
The point is to pursue your own dreams and pleasures in life, because THAT’S what’s attractive! You being wonderfully, glitteringly you! This helps the man you dream of to find YOU.
You can make a choice to END the sick-heartedness, and you have that power!
3. Release the heavy first (or second, or third) date expectations.
Don’t put all that heavy, painful weight on every brand-new relationship. Just have the attitude that you’re slowly getting to know these new guys. Patience, sugar shine! You’ll get there.
But only if you try something new!
4. Know the difference between the TRUE “must-haves” and “deal-breakers” and the little stuff
Top 10 things you MUST HAVE in a relationship:
- He is very attracted to you, even if the two of you didn’t jump into bed on dates 1, 2, or 3.
- You two have similar foundational values in life.
- He makes you a consistent priority in his life.
- You feel strong and good when you’re with him.
- His words consistently match his actions, so you are beginning to trust him.
- The people most important to you like him.
- He is financially solid (or working to get there).
- He wants what’s best for you.
- You two have successfully been through some difficult things together, and come out better for it.
- He is mature and willing to grow.
Top 10 true DEAL-BREAKERS in a relationship:
- Neither of you have experienced any personal growth since you started dating each other.
- You are not one of the top 3 priorities in his life.
- You have the sense that he’s hiding something from you.
- Your most-trusted friends hate him, and he hates them, too.
- He’s deep in an addiction. (Or you are.)
- You’re never sure whether he’s about to show affection or become violent.
- He regularly tears down other people. (PS: You’re next.)
- He doesn’t value your opinion.
- He has money for fun stuff, but can’t pay the rent.
- He’s married or not *completely* finished with his divorce.
5. Live into your best, most beautiful life.
I’m not talking about the man you dream of here. You want to invest in YOU, love YOU, and work on YOU. When you love and value and work toward your best life, you are amazingly attractive! AND, you deserve that kind of fierce attention and love-gift.
How to get close to a man
Did you know there are 3 things every single woman is doing right now that are sabotaging their chances of getting truly close to a man?
Is it any wonder this world is filled with unsatisfied women...if we’re doing things every single day that just make the relationship worse?
Pretty scary, no?
But I have good news.
Well and then...the video gets good.
Because she has a very unique solution that completely turns the situation on its head.
This solution almost instantly ‘unlocks a man’s heart’ for you.. and fills him with a deep need for your intimacy...that he can’t explain and can’t shake.
Is THAT the kind of man you dream of? Would you like to have that kind of power with a man?
Well then, you need to stop what you’re doing and watch this from start to finish!
PS: Watch out for the “surprise” at the 6:08 mark. 🙂