How To Flip That Booty Call Into A Real Relationship!

Sometimes sex happens between two consenting adults without any other emotional commitments. It might even be swing-from-the-chandeliers monkey fun. And if a booty call is ALL both people want from the relationship, everything is fine.

But what if you’d like to actually WAKE UP together and spend time with him for once? Have breakfast together, plan a day of fun and togetherness?

booty call to boyfriend

Can you make him your boyfriend, or will you always be a booty call to him?

Usually, it’s the woman who sprouts feelings first.

You start feeling frustrated and used, because you REALLY want a boyfriend. You don’t want to be “just” a booty call, now matter how steamy-hot the hookups are.

Here are 5 steps (PLUS a nuclear option) to turn that booty call into a real relationship, starting today…

Claire, I’m stuck. I have given my heart to this guy who I’ve been seeing for about 3 months, but I don’t think he feels the same about me.

We have an incredible sex life, but I sometimes feel like that’s the only reason he ever comes over. We almost never go out on dates, even though I’ve invited him to my favorite restaurants on the beach several times. We’re both runners, but he won’t come run with my run club, either. He says he only wants to be alone with me. Last week was his birthday, and when he was too busy to come over, I was sure he would invite me to go out with a group of his friends but he didn’t. 🙁

What we have is special, so how can I get him to see that?? – Alyssa

Ouch. Darling, you say what you have is “special,” but the clearer truth is that what you have is sex. You need more than that for this to become a serious relationship. Right now it sounds like you’re his booty call, not his girlfriend. By my count you could check off at least 5 or 6 of the 10 Signs You’re (Only) His Booty Call…

So if you’re serious about wanting to flip this booty call into a real relationship, scroll down and find out what you can do to make the change. It can and does happen, girlfriend!

How to Flip a Booty Call Into a Real Relationship

Booty Call to Boyfriend Step 1: Shift him from texts to phone calls

Don’t allow him to restrict all your communications to impersonal or sex-connected texts. You don’t have to let him set the method or tone for all your interactions; you have some control of this, too.

  • Respond to his texts with a phone call instead.
  • Pick up the phone and call him just to talk.
  • Be willing to ignore some texts completely, or delay your reply until the following day.

READ MORE: How to Get Him To Call More, Text Less

Booty Call to Boyfriend Step 2: Ask him IRRESISTIBLE questions

You gotta hook and reel him in with the best, most irresistible questions you could possibly ask. The kind of questions that make him feel like you are the only woman who really understands him.

Here’s my favorite online resource that will give you hundreds of fascinating questions that are PROVEN to bring couples together. (Even complete strangers! You may have already read about that case study, it’s all over the internet…)

READ MORE: Questions that make couples fall deeply in love

Booty Call to Boyfriend Step 3: Turn the tables on him (STOP being his booty call)

Don’t be wholly available to him. Let your own schedule take priority so that he’s not always able to get whatever he wants (i.e., sex) whenever he wants it with you.

Instead, tell him you’re out with another friend, or working late, or have plans with someone for a special event or outing. Let it be clear that you live a full, interesting, and passionate life.

In case you’re NOT already dating other guys, start.

And I’ll say that again in a minute, because I really mean this.

Go out. Have a blast. Be public about your enjoyment of these life and dating adventures.

When he starts to ask “Who are you with?” and “Where are you going?” you know you’ve started to arouse his interest and get him a little bothered over you. Enjoy that feeling!

And don’t give in to any whining or pleading for hookups on his part.

Instead…

Booty Call to Boyfriend Step 4: Slowly (slowly!) draw him in

Allow him to see you SOMETIMES, on your own terms, and at places you choose. These should be real dates, not appointments to steam up the windows in your Jeep Cherokee at Lookout Point.

Up to now he’s been in complete control, so expect resistance. If you really want him to move from “a guy you have amazing sex with” to “my fabulous boyfriend” then you’ll stand firm.

You deserve to have the relationship you’re working toward!

READ MORE: How to Instantly Reset Your Relationship (and Keep Your Man)

Booty Call to Boyfriend Step 5: Never be exclusive with someone who ISN’T your boyfriend

That means if you want something OTHER than a booty call, keep dating other guys.

Because over time you’ll find out whether this is the man for you. And if he never gets on board with your plan, you’ll already be well on your way to finding the man who is desperate to join you in your beautiful life.

(I told you I would tell you this part again.)

READ MORE: Is He Worth It, Really?

Booty Call to Boyfriend: The nuclear option

booty call or girlfriendOkay, let’s say you work this plan and he never budges an inch. All he wants is sex. Great, earth-shaking, bone-melting sex. With you. On his schedule. And that’s all.

And you want the great sex, but you also want more. You DO NOT want to just be his booty call. (Possibly one of several.) (Ick.)

Here’s your last-ditch plan, and you’re gonna laugh when you hear it.

You TALK to him directly about it.

Yep. You bring it right straight out in the open and tell him that

a. You think he’s an amazing man
b. You’ve enjoyed the smoking hot bed boogie
c. You’re interested in an even bigger, better, more incredible relationship with a man you can share your future with (describe what that looks like)

and

d. What does he think about that?

36 questions that can make even strangers fall in love…

missing linkIn a ground-breaking study recently featured in the New York Times, psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love simply by having them ask each other a series of 36 questions.

Find out how
The questions were specifically designed to build trust, openness and eventually feelings of deep intimacy.

A journalist writing the piece for the New York Times was so intrigued by the study she asked a man she was merely acquainted with (they had never hung out one on one) if he was willing to meet at a bar and go through these questions with her as an experiment.

They met and over the course of a few hours asking each other the questions something fascinating happened…

Read the crazy, wonderful story here…

xoxo Claire

Want More Love in Your Life?
Take my FREE Love Number Quiz, get access to private posts and free ebooks ONLY for you, and see YOUR questions about men, dating, and relationships... Answered!

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

9 Responses to How To Flip That Booty Call Into A Real Relationship!

  1. samantha kgaodi July 29, 2016 at 1:13 am #

    thank you

  2. Masculine Profiles September 20, 2016 at 1:57 am #

    Getting a woman’s perspective was insightful and knowing what she thinks about booty calls. Thanks for the takeaways!

  3. AuroraTheGreat December 30, 2016 at 2:09 am #

    Roflmao!!! Why would I want to try and earn a man’s love? If a man thinks I have to earn his love and I have to work for his heart, then I will not value his heart once I have it. If a man can’t see my value on his own, then he himself is valueless. I will bang him and leave him and HE will be the one wondering why I stopped returning his calls. Diva snip, diva snap, diva snip.

    • Claire Casey December 30, 2016 at 9:18 am #

      I DO hear ya, AuroraTheGreat 🙂 and you’re right that a man should value his woman. But love also does take work (on the part of both partners) in order to build and grow over time. Love is not so much “earned” (although trust is earned) but it is built. It’s definitely work. But it can be pretty awesome, too, as you already know!

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, beautiful. xoxo

  4. Nikki isaac February 11, 2017 at 11:43 am #

    Love this article…i did few things before i read this article n he seems interested with me..now, i have more ideas on what to do next..thanks

    • Claire Casey February 11, 2017 at 4:56 pm #

      Fabulous! So glad to hear you’ve got things moving in the right direction, Nikki.

    • Bea May 7, 2017 at 9:57 pm #

      Hi Nikki. What have you done to change his interest. I am in a similar situation. Thank you.

  5. Kimberly May 7, 2017 at 1:37 pm #

    After dating 4months, my boyfriend is losing interest and wanted to meet me only when he needs sex. I enjoy sex with him but I don’t want him to look down on me as his booty call only. I tried to make myself busy this week and not meet him for hooksup. My friends told me that he will not respect me if i let him treat me like his booty call. I truly love him I don’t know how should I handle this next. please guide me what should I do and how. thanks in advance

    • Claire Casey May 7, 2017 at 1:43 pm #

      Hi Kimberly, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Honestly, if none of the tactics listed in the article worked for you, you really only have one option, and that’s to quit being his booty call. I know it’s easier said than done, but girlfriend, you want MORE and you deserve more, too!

      Here’s one more article that may help:
      http://askclairecasey.com/break-booty-call-pattern-relationship/

      I hope you’ll decide to shut this door and open a fresh, new door to the kind of love and relationship you dream of… xoxo

Leave a Reply