[QUIZ] Is He a Love Scammer?

When you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to see how a love scammer could so easily find the cracks in our hearts…

love scammer

Have you been taken in by a love scammer?

We dream of the man who will sweep us off our feet and treat us like a queen, who will value our intellect, respect our heart, body, and soul, and never let us go. Sometimes we crave that kind of love like we crave sunlight and oxygen.

And sometimes it leads us into the darkest kinds of trouble…

Take the quick QUIZ below to see if the man you’ve been talking to online is a love scammer, then scroll on down to see

  • four women’s stories about being scammed
  • the 7 warning signs of a love scam, and
  • 5 (creepy) truths about romance and love scammers.

[QUIZ] Is He a Love Scammer?

Answer true or false for each question below.

He declared his love for you very quickly.
He loves and adores you, even though he's never met you.
He says things that make you feel like a deeply-loved woman.
The two of you have never met in person.
He has promised to meet you, but so far it has never worked out.
He started asking you for money very early in the relationship.
He has poor command of English and/or bad grammar.
He has asked you to send him packages with very specific items in them.
He has told you he needs money in order to leave the country he's in.
He prefers not to video chat, but if he does, the picture is blurry, or he may not look like his photos.
He has made you feel guilty when you express suspicion or refuse to send money.
You've discovered several inconsistencies in what he's told you.

Click the button below to see your results.



Here are some of the Ask Claire Casey community’s painful stories of love scams… Please read and be aware!

If you took the “Is He a Love Scammer” Quiz and found that the relationship you’re in has some red flags in it, you are not alone.

I shared this issue within the Ask Claire Casey community and was shocked at the flood of responses.

I have edited the emails below to protect the women involved, but these four stories — which are just a small sample of the responses I received — will give you a glimpse into the reality of love scammers and their tactics.

And after these four women tell their stories, I’ll share with you the 7 Warning Signs that you are being scammed, as well as 5 (scary) truths about love scammers…

And before I go any further, if you suspect a love scam, please REPORT IT HERE: http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx

The woman who shared this first story got lucky when her love scammer accidentally sent up a few red flags; she figured it out before even more damage was done…

“Send me a care package with these items…”

After my my husband left me for a younger woman, I was lonely and desperate. I fell for a guy that called me “baby” – no one had ever done that. I received good morning texts, mid-day texts, and in the evening we would chat online. He was so good at keeping me off balance and giggling like a love-struck teenage girl. He told me he was in Afghanistan in the Army and due to retire in a few months, just after this tour of duty.

I was raised in a military family and he said a couple of things about military life that I knew were “off.” Then the request came: Send him a “care package” with specific items (he wanted me to take pics to show him to be sure I got the right items). It was mostly expensive electronics. The sad thing is I did get all those items. Then he was having a third party send me an email with the mailing address “so it would reach his special location.” I was getting even more doubts, then I received a horribly written email notice from a “diplomat” asking for the package to be express mailed to Ghana. Finally I knew beyond any doubt I had been played. I returned every single item that I had purchased and never told anyone about it for my shame at being so hungry for a man’s attention that I would believe almost anything.

He wrote amazing love letters…

I gave retirement money and even took out 2 loans that I have to repay, for a total of over $150,000!! Writing it makes me upset and angry because of the way I was hooked in and the smooth way he wrote those amazing love letters (emails) that made me feel so good. He told me how much he loves me and how thankful he is that I’m in his life. He said that he has never known love like mine. Boy I fell for it hook line and sinker. The worst thing is I am an educated professional woman who has a very good head on her shoulders, but for some reason he knew just what to say.

I even researched him…

We talked, made plans, we fell in love. I researched him, he had a LinkedIn account, he had a website, he even sent me a copy of his passport. He asked me to help him with some business and asked me to give him as much money as I felt comfortable giving him. He gave me a story about his struggle to pay for shipping issues he was having for his product. Anyway, he sent me a real plane ticket to prove that he was going to come to my home. I gave him the money. I went to the airport to pick him up and he never got off the airplane. I went to the ticket counter and they confirmed that the plane ticket was real and that he just never checked in. Needless to say I was devastated. I knew right then that he scammed me. I just couldn’t believe that I was so stupid. But I fell in love with a voice and a promise.

“I need money to get out of the country…”

I was the victim of a love scammer. My ex-husband and I had just split up and I met him on a dating site. He was nice and only talked for months reeling me in slowly. He sent love texts and emails that were amazing. He said he was in the army waiting to get out. To make a long story short he had to pay to get out of Syria and me being vulnerable gave it to him. He sent me an itinerary and I drove to the airport and wasted hours for a man that never showed up. I was hurt, embarrassed, and mad at myself for being so gullible. I never told anyone I gave him money and it was all of my money. I was embarrassed. I learned from that, but it took time. I had to grieve for both men I lost.

7 Warning Signs That He’s a Love Scammer

  1. He loves you too much, too soon, without ever having met you.
  2. He will arrange to meet you, but the meetings never pan out.
  3. He is an AMAZING sweet-talker. He is an expert at making women feel loved and needed.
  4. He ALWAYS asks for money, supposedly because he’s in a temporary bind. He may also ask for you to send him electronics or other goods, which he will later sell at a profit.
  5. Since love scammers often portray themselves as having plenty of money (just not being able to access it currently because of some invented crisis), he assures you he will repay your “loan” very quickly.
  6. You might find the exact photo he uses to represent himself elsewhere on the internet, being used by other scammers. Photos are not proof that someone is are who they say they are.
  7. If you get suspicious, or ask certain questions, he will immediately use guilt to make you feel bad for your suspicions.

TWO IMPORTANT NOTES: Everyone who is a love scammer is not operating out of Nigeria. Love and romance scammers are everywhere. They’re also not all men, but often linked to a NETWORK of people all working together to make the scam come together.

Protect your heart, beautiful one.

5 Scary Truths About Love Scammers

These things are not pretty to hear; if they bring up a lot of fear in you, let that fear make you even more sturdy and resolved that you will NOT let a love scammer into your life, no matter what stories they tell you…

  • They are criminals
  • They are often linked in a large criminal network
  • They understand human psychology and how to manipulate people
  • They are following PROVEN methods to con you
  • They sometimes try to “seal your silence” by asking you to take off your clothes or masturbate on camera, footage they can later use for blackmail.

If he immediately and absolutely loves you (sight unseen), and asks you to send him money for ANY reason… Turn off the lights and lock the door. He’s not for you.

Be patient and watch for signs that it just might be “too good to be true.” Because all the honeyed words in the universe are not worth the kind of soul-crushing, bank account-emptying, heart-killing aftermath.

And once more, if you suspect a love scam, please REPORT IT HERE.

I wish I had a magic healing wand for all the women and men in the world who have been scammed like this. Lean on your support network, the people who love you and have your best interest at heart. And take care of yourself, beautiful.

xoxo Claire

 

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7 Responses to [QUIZ] Is He a Love Scammer?

  1. Naomi November 18, 2015 at 4:42 pm #

    Hi I was the foolish victim of a scammer, I’d sent him a care package in the package is sent my old iPhone so I could call him he asked me to set up his apple account for him and I was like sure no problem I just need access to your email account, anyway while I was setting up his Apple account my curiosity got the better off me and I checked some of his emails, in one was a script of what to say to women and how to make them fall in love with you, I found three other men try it on me to as they used the same spouts of love from the letter just change the stats my mission is to help as many women as possible find these jerks and report them so here you go this is a copy of the script…..

    Sent from my iPhone

    Begin forwarded message:

    From: “adam.m casey”
    Date: 4 October 2015 at 10:26:16 PM AEDT
    To: Naomi Hamilton
    Subject: FW: Hi

    Sent from Yahoo7 Mail for iPhone

    —- Begin forwarded message —-
    From: johnson
    Date: 9 Aug 2015 7:12:57 pm
    To:
    Subject: Hi
    Hello, How are you doing there ?

    I am micheal johnson

    Nice Name, Nice Meeting you

    Where are you from ??

    I am from united state but presently in Nigeria for undercover mission hope to be home soonest

    How old are you and are u single or married

    I’m 45years single man have been single for 2yrs and I can tell you I was married for 10yrs till I divorced 2 yrs ago after I caught my wife several time cheating on me,I know suit happens but I won’t tolerate that

    Well I Want you to know that life is full of ups and down and everything that happen in life as a reason..well i have been lonely since i got divorce because i have been looking for that special woman that will love me with all her heart..

    spending my life and time alone..and i need a woman that i can wake up in the morning and tell her that she is the most beautiful woman in the whole world…Let her know that she own the key to my Heart.. I Like going to cinema, Hangout with Friends, Like Watching Basketball, Soccer and also going to Shopping..

    . But i can’t remember the last time that i visited Cinema because i did not have that special someone that i can have all that with…But i believe am gonna meet that special woman that mean a lot to me and i hope is you

    Do you have any special Man ?

    So what are you Looking for in a Man ?

    I think we are Looking for the same things but mine in a woman, Just that i am Looking for a nice, Honest, Kind and Caring woman, a woman that will Love and be with me for the Rest of my Life

    All my life has been engulfed with misery and loneliness,i watch my life layer wide spread in front of me and didn’t know what to do with it,my life has been so boring and hope with someone who is ready to Love me for who i am now it’s gonna change for the best

    i am a happy person who love to make People laugh and who is sincere about other People feelings

    What do you Like for fun ?

    I like to go to the beach,gardening,camping,fishing, Walking, Dancing to the oldest music, and listening to music..Oh I also love to spend most of my time with that special someone if I had one.

    What’s your favorite music?

    Music country music with the oldest song: Eros Ramazotti, U2, Robbie Williams, Live,Winter Moods lot more,Brandon heath,grath brooka,christina perri,shania twain,Blake Shelton

    What’s your favorite movie?

    Movies :my favorite movies is cowboy and I love action movie and comedy Brave Heart and all the films that Anthony Hopkins is in

    What kinda of TV u like to watch ?

    TV : Shows are lost, desperate housewives, prison
    break, just for laughs, cashmere mafia, housewives of new York city, 24, don’t forget the lyrics, deal or no deal, dancing with the stars, the bachelor, the bachelorette moment of truth, super nanny, rock of love with Bret Michaels, newlyweds, Rachel ray, the view, American idol, Oprah, the big give, lipstick jungle, entertainment tonight the insider.

    What’s your favorite book u like to read ?

    Books : Atlas Shrugged by Any Rand, Da Vinci code, Angels and Demons, Time to Kill,Thomas Edison ,niccollo makeup

    What’s your favorite sport ?

    Sports : I would love to go dancing (as long as you
    don’t laugh!). Going to Boston would be fun as
    well. I love to visit Europe some day,hiking ,baseball ,football

    what’s your favorite color?

    mine is blue and green

    what’s your favorite food?

    Mine is Chinese type….mexican and italian food,pasta,love some good pizza italian and seafood

    what is your height?

    I’m 6”2ft…237 weight

    What are you doing for Living ?

    Do you love ya job ?

    How do you live so comfortable and survive with the work u doing ?

    Yes I feel so comfortable with my job but I consider retiring soon

    uhmm what really made you like this work your into ?

    I like the benefit in it cos when am out of here I will be in money lol.

    For how long have you been doing this work?

    Well, due to am a military brat have been in army since when i was 21

    So are you willing to keep doing this job for the rest of your life or any plan on that ?

    I consider retiring soon

    So from what time to what time do you work ?

    what do you do in your free time?

    I go out with my friends and play on the field or i went to the gym

    I am , the first army Corps Medal of Honor recipient for Operation Enduring Freedom, I attended local public schools until I graduated from Boston College High School in chester jamey. jamey In 2008, I enlisted in the United States army Corps at a recruiting station in Ponchatoula army depot, and completed my basic training at Paris Island Recruit Training Depot later that year.I trained as a sniper and was regarded as a highly skilled army infantry deployed twice to combat duty, serving in both Iraq and Afghanistan. In 2011, I deployed to Iraq in support of Operation afghanistan Freedom and during 2011-14, I deployed to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom

    I was while serving in Kunar Province, Afghanistan, as a Turret Gunner and Driver with army Embedded Training Team 2-8, Regional Corps Advisory Command 3-7 that I performed the heroic actions for which I was awarded the Medal of Honor

    How long have you been on that dating site?

    Have you ever talk with anyone from military online here ?

    Are you still talking with them ?

    Am new to online dating site and its my friend that introduces me to dating site so that I can see my partner as he met his woman there and they are living together now so I want the same in woman baby

    Do you believe in internet dating?

    Yes I do believe in internet dating cos my friend met is own wife online and they are living happily in the state

    Do you think you can do your best to always make your partner happy when you meet someone?

    Yes I wanted to do all my best to make my woman happy and live happily together

    Well, here is little about me….I’m a man of high integrity and intelligent, am very loving, caring, honest and humble, am a single Dad, Just wanna give this a try, I need a woman to share my life with, a woman that is ready for something new and commitment

    I’m open minded, sensitive, truthful, passionate, with a great sense of humor …responsible and serious when I have to be. I love music, travelling, meeting people and all is beautiful ! I am looking for that special someone, I could love with all my heart, body and soul. I love to find experiences and to share them with someone that is serious in looking for the right woman to give her peace and comfort

    My ambition is to inspire my beloved woman constantly and stand by my nations I want the peace for the world, to help her to keep the balance between career and private life, just as she would also inspire me to do good. Love is most paramount for me, i need a companion to share my life with, who wants to create a strong family. I want to take long walks with her and share what life has in stall for us both joy and sorrow. I’d like to look up to her as an authority for me, be proud of her, adore her, be supportive, she would have my devotion understanding,kindness, care, calmness, cheerfulness,soul support and my great love. I expect to get all these traits from her too in return, Everyone wants something good for themselves, or don’t you wish yourself well? i want something good for me, that’s why i wanna be with such a good woman like you.

    what’s ya ideal in true relationship?

    What kinda man are you willing to have ? And do you want him for the rest of your life ?

    okay good….do i worth such man you think you could spend the rest of your life with ? cus i can see your such a cute woman.

    If you see someone who is willing to spend the rest of his life with you and keep making you happy for the rest of his life, how would you feel about it ?

    but if you ain’t gonna be mind about me saying this.. i would say i like you and would like to have you as my soul mate as in someone i can always share my feelings with, making you happy and taking good care of you which i hope you will also do the same for me.

    would you still like to get married ?

    what kinda marriage would u like to have?

    how would you feel if we ever make this online relationship worked out for us?

    but i want you to know one thing th
    at before love or any other relationship that there must be trust first, so i would like it if you can try and put your trust in me as i am gonna put mine in you…

    Do you Like Traveling?

    where have you been to?

    I Have been to Many Places in raise in tx u.s, Germany, Brazil,China, France,UK,Australia,New Zealand,Jamaica, and i am now in Nigeria But i will be Coming back Home very soon..

    I will like to be upfront and straightforward with you from the beginning before we go deeply into our conversation if you have interest in me and want me home it gonna cost money to apply for the leave form of my coming home

    So what do you want to know more about me?

    I divorced my ex-wife in about some years now am so sad cos I don’t believe that she could do such a thing to me cos I saw her with another man in my private bed room she doesn’t know that am coming or not she take me as a fool but I told her am not a fool I collect all my cars but she is the one pay my coming home and my phoning activation when am here in afghan but I return the money back to her and I drive her away. With is load on her family but now am here looking for good relationship that wouldn’t hurt me again has my ex wife

    Am half french and American and I love speaking french a lot and I have french accent and I hope that doesn’t bother you..both of my parents have passed away but they still live in my heart because there are my roll model and I used to visit there grave yards every time am back home …I do have just a cousin we don’t get along since our parents have passed away…

    I would describe myself as very Intelligent, honest, am easy going man with sense of honor, creative, and humorous, though in a relatively sane and down-to-earth way at least the tiny voices in my head keep telling me this. . I am a romantic person and I do believe in love and I believe that there is a person out there for everyone in this world my heart keeping telling me this you can be my angel

    sometimes feel that each one of us is born with a bit of their heart or a bit of there soul missing I am a very open minded person,someone who accepts people as they are, I am a fair individual who adapts to changes in life and enjoys life to the fullest,and seeking forward to meet a woman that i can spend the rest of my life with in good times and in bad time as well, A woman that could be honesty,caring,straightforward,loving faithful,that i can love and cherished with all my whole heart and I pray to God almighty that he will provide me with that kind of a woman someday in my life

    My interests are wide and varied I like going out dining when I can, spending time outdoors, I love reading, music, watching mysteries, writing poetry, cooking, self help a lot more

    My dream looking for someone who can have laugh
    and have fun but, and at the same time, she must be responsible. Some one with whom I share a strong physical and emotional connection. In the long-term, I believe that it is essential that we share similar values and that we have excellent communication with one another I would like you to know that am sensitive man, honest, intelligent, passionate, hard- working, loyal, humorous, efficient, creative, caring, generous, communicative, sensual, charming, reliable, cleverly neat man looking for someone special to share my world with and potentially to grow old with

    My last date was horrible so much because she was cheating on me that is why we are not together caught her with my friend having an secret affair and she even got pregnant for him and ever since i knows all about it i made up my mind and vow not to be with her and we both divorced after two kids together. Regarding what I am seeking is a woman as laid out in Proverbs 31. A man who who is strong(but not overbearing), loyal, respectful, kind and sweet. That carry himself like the king he is in all situations. That arouse my intellect as well as physical desires. Seeking such someone that I
    can share my entire self with. Somebody that is not afraid to be loved as well express

    I am committed life to living to the fullest and in growing as a person having fun is very important to me and I am looking for someone with whom I can share life’s experiences and grow together in faith and love with and someone who will accept me for Who i am, love me unconditionally In additional I would like someone who is very understanding & who has God fearing, Has respect for herself and the man by his side

    I am honest, kind, and caring man ;I am an honest, easy going, caring, compassionate,passionate romantic, with a great sense of humor .I’m loyal, faithful, trusting, kind, caring, loving and fun, with a compassionate and generous nature…….i hate Lies, Cheating and not Trustworthy

    Do you really want to be with a man of your dream, who will be there for you always….?

    You sounds so perfect for me, I think we can be dating on here and see’s where it Leads to, But i believe we can work this out fine, If truly you really want to be with a True Man of your Dream ?

    You are the Kind of woman, I Have been Looking for so Long just that i am Tired of Being Lonely and i am afraid of getting hurt, I truly want a woman in my Life, to love, cherish, care and be with for the rest of my life

    I will be Glad if you could be the woman I really have full respect for my woman also I do care a lot for my woman I treat my woman like my queen and my eye bulb

    Oh…I Think now, You have gotten the Real and Lucky Love I am One woman Man, I Hate Lies, Cheating and Not trustworthy when i fall in Love, It’s forever

    I like to playing Golf, swimming, walking around and watching tv and you ?

    What Church do you attend ?

    catholic.

    Do you Live alone ?

    Yes, I Live alone

    I own a Home and two cars with my truck…….I have a Honda civic and ford explorer for my jobin Augusta Ga

    I can’t wait to meet you

    Can you do me a small Favor….

    Can you remove your Profile from that meetme .com, if you don’t mind

    Because you sound so nice and Real, and you are the Kind of woman i want and need to be with, And i don’t want to share the woman i want to be Part of her Life with anyone…..I am one woman Man…………..and i will Never doubt you because to Love is to Trust and is Rather to Trust to Love

    I really enjoy to talk to you baby and I can’t wait to talk much with you and know everything about each other and see where it will lead to…
    Sent from wireless device
    Sent from my us army in device in nigrian

    Don’t be fooled be educated find out what you can about these people and report them!!!!!

  2. Claire Casey November 18, 2015 at 7:46 pm #

    Wow. TONS of telltale signs that this is a scam. Thanks for posting, Naomi. The more we collaborate and share information, the better our chances of helping more women steer clear…

  3. Suzy November 29, 2015 at 9:25 pm #

    Hi Claire,
    I fell for this once and then I learned the tell-tale signs.
    My scammer said that he was from the Netherlands, a commercial architect. We emailed, he said that his wife had died three years ago in an accident and he was just starting to date again. He had moved to the US to start over.
    He said that he was going to semi-retire in the new year and that we could travel the world together. He had one more big job in South Africa building a hospital. He called from South Africa a couple of times, then nothing.
    Freddie Adams was his name if anyone else is scammed by hiim. He had a linked in page and maybe even facebook. There is a Freddie Adams that fits his description that is a commercial contractor from Netherlands, so he did his homework.
    He never asked for money, but he knew all the right things to say!
    Now I recognize the type of emails and report them to match.com.

    • Claire Casey November 30, 2015 at 9:25 am #

      Hi, Suzy, Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation. I’m really glad to hear that you’ve figured things out, and that you are pitching in by reporting the scammy emails immediately. Hopefully as more women begin to do that, these guys will start to get the message that we’re not going to fall for this stuff any more… xoxo

  4. Paula December 1, 2015 at 1:37 am #

    After a good friend was scammed to the tune of over a thousand bucks, I started to watch for these guys. I ask them personal, surviving questions right away. They never answer with specifics and their spelling and grammar is atrocious. Right away I tell them I want to meet for coffee. That usually does it, and they disappear.

    Honestly, no man is worth a bunch of back and forth texting. Waste of time. If you like his profile and he likes yours, suggest a coffee date right away. If he’s for real, he’ll meet you (on time and looking like his pics) if not for real, he’ll either stop writing or have some lame excuse. Then report him.

    Really, women, we deserve better than this!!!

    • Claire Casey December 1, 2015 at 8:14 am #

      Hi, Paula, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I understand why women spend so much time texting/emailing/calling before meeting — there’s something in us that wants to be sure. But this does all that and more. Your idea is a very simple and easy way to clarify things. Thanks SO much for offering such an elegant solution… xoxo

  5. Kimberly December 4, 2015 at 6:49 pm #

    I would like to add another type of love scam. I was speaking with a man who went on back to back business trips which is why we couldn’t meet. He fit the profile of falling too fast for me and many others. Well on the second business trip to “Spain” an unexpected business expense came up and all his money was already tied up. Now girls he didn’t come out and ask for money he had another scheme which I was smart to already. He was from Malta but living in the US and only had an international bank account. He had bankers who were going to loan them money but it could only go into a US bank account. I’ve read about this before so was wise to it. The “bankers” would wire money into my account and then I was to wire it to him. Problem comes in that unless you know better, money may show in your account and you then transfer it out, but when you don’t wait the required business days for it to clear and you then wire money out you are now responsible for that amount when the original does not clear. So even though it seems that you are only transferring money you can get caught in the end being out of money. I would keep changing the subject and saying that I couldn’t find a way to transfer the money and shortly thereafter he “disappeared”. Beware ladies…fortunately I knew better, though I was sad he was too good to be true.

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