Is he worth it, really? Is this relationship worth all the effort, frustration, mania, lost sleep, and late-night ice cream binges you’re putting into it?
Relationship “do overs” ARE possible, but sometimes you need to evaluate whether the relationship is WORTH working so hard for…
Claire, I made a big mistake. For the first time in my life I gave myself on the first date (he had just been kicked out of his home that he had with his girlfriend) and then kept having sex with him for 4 months. I finally stopped with that part, and he said we can still be friends even if we don’t sleep together.
Since then we have been staying in touch by texting a little and he calls once in a while. There are some signs that he might not be right for me. But I can’t get him off my mind and care about him. I know he doesn’t feel the same.
I want to get to know him better and see if there could be a future. Should I stay in touch with him? Is he worth it? – Leila
Leila, soulshine, you already know your own answer, and you smartly checked off the reasons in your letter:
- You made a big mistake with him. (Of course, everyone makes mistakes, but…)
- You see signs he’s not right for you. (Hm. Now that’s more important…)
- And he doesn’t love you. (Dealbreaker alert!)
Is he worth it? For someone else, perhaps. But YOU shouldn’t keep trying to become his girlfriend, or even his friend.
Why waste your time, energy, and more of your valuable life? You’re just keeping yourself from finding the man who is waiting to give you forever love.
Here’s exactly WHY you should NOT remain friends
You’re not his girlfriend. He was simply using you for sex (which it sounds like you kinda knew) in the wake of a painful breakup.
You’ve called a halt to it, but he knows you are still waffling.
Believe me, he KNOWS.
And pretty soon, the two of you will meet up, he’ll do the things he does that make a woman feel warm and melty inside, and boom. You’ll be in bed with him again.
It will hurt, but it is SO much healthier for your heart and soul. And the pain will fade, I promise.
Is He Worth It? 6 Signs He’s NOT
It’s not at ALL that he isn’t a good man. Just not a good man for YOU.
- He isn’t attracted to you.
- He’s told you he isn’t interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
- He doesn’t make you a priority in his life.
- He isn’t willing to do the things that make you feel loved.
- He’s in it only for what he can get out of it; he doesn’t want what’s best for you.
- He’s married. To someone else.
These are big fat deal-breakers, darling. Is he worth it? Well of course he is, for someone else.
If you have even one, you’re chasing someone else’s dream, not yours. Yours is still waiting for you to stop goofing around and come after it! 🙂
How to shift your energy back toward YOU
Get him off your mind by putting YOURSELF there. Get back to work on your goals for life. Invest in your passions. Once you throw yourself into your own life and dreams it becomes much easier to stop obsessing about a man.
And of course, start dating other guys! What could be better than finding men who are much more attentive, engaging, and worth your effort?
You’re worth this, sister of my heart.
Deeply reach your man’s heart
You’ll discover 7 powerful tips (that most women don’t know about) that you can use right now to instantly reach him on an emotional level and have him begging you to stay close to him.7 Tips to Deeply Reach Him
When you use this to sneak by his “male” defenses, you can connect with him in a deep loving space — the way no other women possibly can…