Why is dating getting so much harder? Why are guys choosing other women over you? It’s NOT because you’re not sexy enough… There’s something much more subtle — and problematic — at work…
Should you ditch online dating for good?
I remember the first time a friend of mine tried online dating, way back when it was considered something only a desperado would do. Even though many frowned upon it, I thought it was fantastic that she could meet someone this way. Online dating was a novel way to meet a like-minded partner, someone who you’d normally never meet.
Fast-forward 10 years and now online dating has become the norm, with most couples happy to admit that they met the love of their life online.
In fact, a Pew Research Center study from this year shows that 5% of committed relationships and marriages in the US started online. Another study run by eHarmony states that 1 in 3 marriages in the US begin online.
So why are there so many men and women still single and looking for their love match, when technology is supposed to make it easier than ever to meet people?
As much as there are some great upsides to online dating, it’s true that it has not been an entirely positive phenomenon.
There is a downside to the online world that not only affects the online daters, it also impacts the men and woman who are trying to meet their match the more conventional way.
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There are three big reasons why finding love seems to be getting harder. These are three significant reasons why so many women feel as though every man they meet — that they actually like — keeps disappearing.
Even when you think you have a real connection with a guy you meet online, it seems that something always happens that has the man pulling away, and you second guessing yourself and feeling disheartened… Over and over again.
So let’s break this down further…
1. Too many opportunities and choices just isn’t helping!
Not only do we have more opportunities to meet more men, we’ve also got more choices of potential partners than ever before.
But what happens when you have too many options?
Well, it just gets overwhelming and confusing.
It’s like getting ready to go out: too many outfit choices means you end up spending hours getting ready, but if you only had one or two choices then it would be easier and quicker to choose what makes you look and feel your best.
When you can easily communicate with and meet as many potential partners as you like, you get picky.
You end up paralyzed, incapable of deciding who’s the best match for you and potentially NEVER getting together with ANY of them.
2. Heavy competition leads to unrealistic expectations
As there are more opportunities for you to meet men, so are there more opportunities for men to meet women. There is more competition than ever, not just among men but among women as well.
Which translates to a feeling of a competition you can never win.
The expectations are ridiculous!
We all have our strengths and weaknesses, our little quirks and habits that make us unique, and it’s getting increasingly difficult to let these shine through with so much critique and competition.
3. Unrealistic fantasies about the “perfect” match
We all have our fantasies. We seek perfection even though we know there is no such thing as a perfect, flawless man, or the one perfect match for us.
The increase in the number of dating opportunities and the tougher competition unfortunately feeds these fantasies, causing us to pass up on good men in favor of someone who seems like the fantasy come true… Even if you KNOW no guy will never live up to this perfect image.
This is a delusion that well keep you from love. (It also sets women up for love scammers, ugh.)
So what’s a woman to do in this complicated dating environment?
Here are four powerful, but simple tips you can use:
Get to know yourself better.
Getting to know what you like, what you want, and what makes you happy is a very necessary first step to a happy dating life and to finding your life partner.
If you know what you want, you are less likely to become overwhelmed by the online dating options.
Don’t give up easily once you’ve identified what you want in a healthy loving relationship. The many dating opportunities may be a mixed blessing, but sometimes it really can be a blessing!
Just as you get confused about the men you meet, the guys feel the same, so don’t take rejection too personally.
Don’t be afraid you won’t get a better shot at finding a truly intimate, fulfilling relationship — you will! As long as you’re realistic in your approach and are willing to bounce back from the miss-matches.
Engage in real life.
Online dating is great, but there is nothing like actual face-to-face contact.
Even video chats cannot give you this sense of direct communication, this opportunity to really get to know the person you’re interested in.
Real life contact can help you see much more clearly whether the man who’s aroused your interest online is indeed the man you can fall in love with.
Get out of your house and meet more people! Don’t rely ONLY on online dating. Live your entire life with passion!
Be bold, approach men!
Make it a point to seek out and meet men in real life.
Be bold and push aside your fears and outdated social conditioning and approach the man you’re interested in – instead of waiting for him to approach you.
Imagine that maybe he’s shy or slightly intimidated by you. Or he just hasn’t had the chance to fully notice you. Why not give him this chance? Men like confident women. Show him your sparkle and watch him gravitate towards you.
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Did you know most women complicate love and scare men off without even realizing it?
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About The Author
Nadine Piat-Niski is an renowned relationship and dating coach, writer, speaker, and the creator of the best selling programs Unlock His Heart, Never Lose Him, and Simple Orgasmic Secret.
Nadine has been featured on national television and radio and has been a columnist for 2 leading city newspapers.
(And she has an adorable Aussie accent!)