Breakups and Recovery

Is Your Relationship Really Over? Should You Fix It or Forget It?

Does he just need “space” or is the relationship really over for good?

“Dear Claire, my BF after 10 months broke it off with me. I knew this was coming because I made a few mistakes by drinking too much and acting inappropriately a few times. It was a great relationship until those mishaps but overall we are very attracted to one and over and the chemistry is still there. I don’t know if he just needs his space or if our relationship is truly, really over. He was tearing up and said it hurt to do it but needed to as I was frustrating him more than ever. Please give me advice.” — Nadia

Hi, Nadia. I have a huge question for you: is your drinking a problem? There’s a self test over on the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence website that you can take if you want to check that out. Here’s that link again: http://claireshare.me/alcoholselftest

Because an addiction can absolutely be a deal-breaker, and if that’s the reason he broke it off, then there’s a good chance your relationship is really over.

Why did you REALLY break up?

If this is NOT about your drinking, then you might find out more by asking him what the major problems were. This is not so that you can convince him you need to get back together, but so that you can work on any issues that might be sneaking up on you.

exbacksystemAnd sometimes it’s not really about you at all, but about him. So don’t automatically shoulder all the blame, okay?

But either way, a good, solid “breakup conversation” can give you a lot of information that can be helpful as you figure out what went wrong and whether the relationship is really over.

Then, regardless of whether the two of you get back together or not, you’ll be aware of these particular relationship landmines in the future.

What a breakup says about a couple

If you had told me that he broke it off simply because you “acted inappropriately a few times,” and assuming that doesn’t mean you slept with someone when you’d agreed to be exclusive or something similarly huge, I would wonder about him.

Because EVERYONE acts a little wacky now and then. Everyone makes mistakes, has off days, does stupid stuff.

The difference between couples who make it and those who don’t are that the ones who make it figure out how to weather those storms together. They figure out how to grow. They get more mature.

How do you go about re-attracting your boyfriend?

Brad Browning is known as the “Relationship Geek.”

He’s been helping thousands of women across the globe win back their ex-boyfriends. His success rate is over 90%.


Even if you think your relationship with your ex boyfriend is wrecked beyond repair, what Brad has to share with you can make your boyfriend fall hopelessly in love with you again, or at LEAST give you a second chance.

NO crying and pleading.

NO begging for second chances.

In fact, if you’re guilty of one of those mistakes, chances are you’re doing something right now that is pushing your ex further and further away (and into the arms of another woman).

So do yourself a favor and check out his free video.

Watch It Now!

In the video, Brad will tell you exactly how you can get your ex boyfriend back as soon as possible.

And he’ll go over some other “Deadly Sins of Relationships” as well.

No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — Brad will give you a number of incredibly helpful tips that you can apply IMMEDIATELY.

–> Ready to win him back? THIS will show you how.

You have absolutely nothing to lose. Take a few minutes to hear him out. I think you’ll appreciate the insanely useful things he has to say.

xoxo Claire

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3 comments on “Is Your Relationship Really Over? Should You Fix It or Forget It?

  1. Hi Claire

    i wrote to you a while back, telling you that my boyfriend had to move away cause he could not find a job living with me (or he actually did not try hard enough and lost patience) he is in another country now. Im divorced with two kids, and he loves them dearly but can not stand my ex husband, and got upset with the fact that their dad phones them every night. We still have (had) every day contact since he moved, and we discussed a holiday for the kids and I to visit him. it is a long trip and lots of planning of passports for everyone and stuff. Your response to me last time was that men need an income and that influences them very much. Since he has been there 4 months now, he has still been battling financially with having to set up a new home, and had big dental expenses. so he barely has furniture. He has one friend there, but this friend and all the other people he has got to know has nice big houses etc, and they are all about 5 years younger than him. he told me it kills him, cause he is 37 and has nothing. ive been very supporting and i keep trying to motivate him. At a stage he accepted a part time job as a bouncer at a club, i was not to eager with this and we had an argument, he then worked there again twice and then admitted to me that it is not the best thing for him and he is going to quit.
    ( he also admitted to having some addiction issues while he was living with me, this was also part of the reason for his move) before he left we agreed to break the relationship, but before he left for good he admitted to one of my friends that he loves me sooooo much and is planning on going just to sort out his life. i then agreed we can continue with the relationship. your advice was that the fact that there is still contact means he still cares and loves me.

    So about two weeks ago o a Friday i loaded airtime and we called him, he had a long nice chat with the kids and all was still loving etc. the saturday i sent him nice songs, and by lunch time the messages just did not deliver, i tried calling and he did not answer. in the evening i received a message where he stated “he is far away from me, and we will never work again, because i still have soft spot for the kids dad, cause there are kids. And that no matter what i do not try and change the arrangements with the phone calls, and i always act up when he discusses it, and that he is not interested in talking about it anymore.
    I just did not respond to the message, the following day i spoke to his mom, she said i should ignore it and just leave him alone a bit, after a week i had to make contact as i ordered new nike tekkies for him and the lady informed we delivery will be soon. i then told him about the surprise, we had a little bit of one liner communication, but mostly first from my side. like i would say have a good day and he would respond thank you same to you.

    i am now in a situation where i need to finalise travel arrangements, and is stuck with nowhere else to go for holiday, but i can still get a place close to him at a very good prise. i do not know how to handle this situation.

    he has left me before where we did not speak for couple of weeks, and eventually we came right again. cause i still sent him my daily bible verse and nice messages. but im confused this time. and to add to it all, his facebook profile is till the two of us, and states he is in a relationship with me. he also has not told any of his family that he left me

    i really hope you can help me, im so depressed, i cant eat or sleep or focus at work.

    PLEASE!!! help

    • Claire Casey

      Hi, E, thanks for reading and commenting.

      I couldn’t find any record of our previous contact (using the email address in my logs) so I can’t speak to any of that, but simply based on what you’ve told me here, it does not sound like he wants to continue the relationship. 🙁

      You’ve mentioned his addiction issues, the fact that he doesn’t like that the children’s father is still connected with you and the kids, he has financial issues, he blows hot and cold with his affections, and basically hasn’t got his life together.

      Sweetheart, what is the draw here? Why are you interested in him? And how much more time and energy are you willing to continue to invest in a relationship like this, where you can’t count on him for much of anything, he has left you repeatedly, and told you outright that he doesn’t want this any more?

      Those are all good questions for you to be thinking about, beautiful woman.

      I think there’s something much, much better for you out there, and I hope you are able to open yourself soon to what the universe has in store…

      xoxo
      Claire

  2. Louise Rothman

    That all sounds awful and so confusing!!! I have been in similar relationship with someone who had addiction issues and moved away as I wouldn’t commit, and also for a job its all very hurtful and damaging, yet still hanging on…. I understand your commitment and confusion and desperation, he sounds like a narrcist???!!!

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