Fair-weather friends are awesome. But they’re like candy bars: they are easy to find and you enjoy them immensely, but they aren’t going to truly sustain you for long. Real friends are different…
When things get stormy you need a REAL friend
Those are the ones who really deliver. It doesn’t matter how horrible the dragon you’re facing is, they’re putting on a motorcycle helmet and arming themselves with power drills and flamethrowers to fight beside you. Whatever it takes.
They do it because they love you and care about what happens in your life.
Are you taking care to find and nurture THOSE kinds of friendships?
Because these kinds of real friends don’t “just happen”…
How to know if someone could be a REAL friend
The best test of a person’s ability to be a true friend for you is to ask yourself these 2 questions about that person.
1. Do they have your best interest at heart?
2. Do they know the deep truths about you?
These people are wonderful to have, because you know they love you. And you need them. They’ll be there with harpoons and lifeboats when you’re swimming in high seas and suddenly you hear the Jaws theme music starting up.
And you need real friends. But you also need something even better and more powerful… You need coaches and mentors.
Coaches and mentors are even better to have in your life because they are the ones who actually KNOW how to USE that harpoon. They are badder than Jason Voorhees, Count Dracula, and the T-Rex from Jurassic Park all rolled into one.
They know how you can get out of the bad situations you find yourself in.
What separates your real friends from your coaches and mentors
Your coaches and mentors also know the deep truths about you, and they have your best interest at heart. But they also pass one more, incredibly important test:
3. Are they emotionally healthy themselves?
When you can answer this question “yes” about someone who is already your true friend, that means they have faced AND conquered demons of their own.
These people are often (but not always) older than you are, and usually more experienced. It may be a treasured aunt, and smart-as-a-whip grandmother, or even a guy friend who has been through some terrible times, and come out battered but whole, wise, and still shining.
So take a moment to name your real friends, coaches, and mentors…
Who are the friends who know the deep truths about you and have your best interests at heart?
Now, who are your coaches and mentors? The ones who know you, have your best interest at heart, AND who are emotionally healthy themselves…
If you came away with a list of five or more REAL friends, coaches and mentors, you are a blessed woman indeed!
Why you probably won’t have “dozens” of these
The thing about really powerfully good friends is that you can’t actually have dozens of them. Maintaining that kind of intimacy and closeness takes some work. You need to be involved in each other’s lives, and put energy into supporting and maintaining the relationship.
Nurture those relationships!
Don’t take these valuable people in your life for granted. Keep in contact. Find ways to make THEIR lives better. Spend time with them and encourage their dreams. Make these important relationships a priority in your life.
Being connected with people like this will make your entire life a better, more meaningful experience.