Commitment Dating and Romance

What NOT to Do, After the First 3 Dates

When the first three dates are electric, your brain is not prepared to make smart decisions about your future. Fortunately, all you need to remember are two powerful words…

3 Dates Later: Do You Know Enough To Be Exclusive With This Guy?

He’s new, he’s amazing, and he makes your skin shiver when you think of him. But the first blush of new love is when you MOST need your brain, and LEAST have it available.

“Claire, I have been really interested in this guy for a long time. We have talked about doing things together in the future and we recently spent the weekend together (platonically). We had fun, laughed and kissed. It was our third date and he asked when he could see me again.

We made some tentative plans for the following weekend but then he had to work but I haven’t heard from him since. He hasn’t answered my texts either. He has a tendency to do that when he is busy. At the end of our weekend he said to give him some time to get some bills paid off and revamp his own business and then he would look for a job in my town.

He is very Christian and so I am pretty sure he wouldn’t play games or lie to me… I just don’t know what I should do and the waiting is killing me. I miss him tons.” — Rebecca

Hi, Rebecca! Sounds like a pretty awesome 3 dates. (You’re so adorable when you’re in love.) But you’re missing a big part of this picture, and that’s why you have girlfriends. 🙂 Let’s look at this a little more closely…

1. You’ve only had 3 dates. You barely know anything real about him.

You don’t know how he behaves under pressure, how his family and friends think of him, whether he’s trustworthy, etc. etc. etc. It’s too soon for anything except enjoying (in a sick, painful, awesome kinda way) this first chemically-wacky, heart-squeezing part of the Rollercoaster of Love.

READ MORE: How to Know if the Two of You Have a Future Together

2. It’s too soon to change jobs or move for this.

Three dates later is definitely too soon for him to be quitting his job and moving to your city. Think of the pressure that puts on your relationship, when you barely know him as a boyfriend.

READ MORE: How to Give a New Relationship a Fighting Chance

3. It’s also too soon for you to be exclusive with him.

After only 3 dates, it’s even too soon to even have the conversation about not seeing other people any more!

READ MORE: 5 Dating Habits That Are Pure Genius

So here’s the Two Powerful Words that you need to hear right now, heart-sister:

Two words for you: KEEP DATING!

Keep dating him when he shows back up in your universe.

Keep dating OTHER GUYS.

Keep. Dating.

Don’t allow your life to slide to a screeching halt while you WAIT on this guy. Get back to your beautiful universe, your glorious plans, and all the fun things you’re currently doing. Work, friends, hobbies… And most of all casual dating (with more than one guy).

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Make him crave you like chocolate

Kymmie Krieger is the senior editor for Women Online Magazine, and has worked with hundreds of women through Match.com, eHarmony, and OKCupid.

Quite by accident, she discovered the key to unlock a man's involuntary, irrational, uncontrollably consuming cravings and emotional reactions to love (and to YOU).

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Finally, a way to code-break a man's brain and make him involuntarily crave you, like a decadent slice of German chocolate cake...!


And did you notice these two interesting items?

There are really helpful clues in your letter, and you need to breathe in and take a clear look at them...

1. He actually asked you politely for time off.

I know it's hard to hear that, but he actually said it clearly enough that you were able to include it in your note to me. Listen to what this guy is telling you! It's really okay to both take some time away AND to tell the other person what you want to do.

Yay for him for being clear. This is a good thing in a guy.

2. His life has NOT ground to a stop.

He's crazy-busy making his own dreams come true. This is another good thing in a guy.

Okay, two MORE words for you: Be Patient.

Those three dates were great, and now you're aching for it to keep happening! I know it sucks to wait. So DON'T WAIT. Move on with your life. Throw sparks everywhere you go. Celebrate your fabulous self. Take good care of your heart.

Three dates is great. Here's to a lifetime of more.

Love, hugs, and cupcakes with sprinkles. You got this.

xoxo Claire

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