Sometimes couples fight. But there’s no call to be bitchy and rude every time things don’t go the way you want them to. Here’s how to short-circuit rude behavior…
How to deal with his rude behavior
“Dear Claire, my boyfriend is having PMS at the moment and is rude and distant. His colleague (good girlfriend of mine) complains of this too!
I do understand –
- His mother is ill
- Turnover at work is not good
- Staff making mistakes
- Adult son messing around with studies
- Estranged spouse creating issues
I feel for him, but I also have my own issues to deal with. Retreating into the cave is one thing, but being downright rude to his closest people is immature. He abruptly cuts me off. Asks me if I am available on Saturday then he moves the goal posts. Tells me not to text because these came up when he showed his boss something. That one really hurt!
I am feeling pushed away. If I ask I get NOTHING. If I keep quiet then he gets the impression that I have the problem, I am too sensitive, emotional etc. And so it goes.
Do I go with the flow and ignore his PMS? Or tell him what an inconsiderate jerk he is being?” — Andie
You said he was “having PMS at the moment” but you know what? Real PMS is over with in a day or two (okay, three). But your email sounds like you’ve been struggling for a while, maybe weeks or months.
Mature men should not be consistently rude to the people they care deeply about.
Once in a while, we do things we shouldn’t. But if this is happening regularly, and when you bring it up you’re always shut down? That’s a problem.
It can absolutely be worth sticking it out for a man you’d like to build a life with, but there are limits, and you’re going to have to define yours.
1. Ask him for a good time to talk…
You need to ask him for a good time to have a conversation, then bring up the issue in a clear, calm way. Invite him to share what’s going on for him, too, and listen when he does.
DON’T let your frustration make you call names or be mean-spirited. Wait until you can be calm and level-headed about this.
2. Consider: Does he really care about you?
If he is rude and refuses to sit down and talk like an adult with you, then I’m thinking you may want to reconsider whether this man really loves you enough to try and get through this together.
When you’re with someone for the long haul, you have lots of difficult things to get through — can you count on him to be your partner in this? Or will he consistently be bitchy, bail out, and try to make you think it’s all about you?
3. Invest in yourself, gorgeous woman…
You need to start pursuing your own dreams and passions whole-heartedly. This will take some of your energy away from the relationship, which is going to be good.
It will be a good thing for him to know that you’re not spending every moment of your life focusing on him and his problems.
4. Is now the time for you to start dating again?
I’m not saying you can’t still date your current boyfriend, I’m just saying you might not want to invest fully in him if he’s not willing to do the same.
No need to do this in a mean or ugly way, but dating other guys may make things clearer for both of you.
5. Set yourself a timeline, girlfriend.
How long are you willing to keep trying to work this through with him?
You can’t dictate how he feels. You CAN define your own limits. You MIGHT be able to help him adjust his attitude. But you don’t want to bang your head against a brick wall forever…
Willing to try THIS to get his attention? These tiny messages attract men like flowers attract bees…
Watch this video and learn how to make him CRAVE you like mad with these little messages…
Notice how by blurting out a simple little message to that one special man makes him feel so much more in love with you…
These messages override every other thought in his head and he won’t be able to get you out of his mind…
Not even for a minute!
–> He’ll be mad for you, even to the point of acting like a fool just to win your attention.
You can do it starting just minutes from now by blurting out an innocent little message… (This video explains it!)
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