Intimacy & Sex Marriage

Can You Have a Good Relationship WITHOUT Sex?

Does a committed couple have to be “getting busy” regularly – or at all – in order to be happy together? Are there couples out there who make relationships without sex work, and even work well?

Is sex the foundation of all good relationships?

No. It’s not.

You can have a good relationship without sex, particularly if we’re talking about sexual intercourse.

So the headline of this article is tricky, right? Because sex and intercourse are NOT the same thing. More on that in a moment…

But first, here’s why a relationship without sex — meaning without sexual intercourse — can be a good one:

Intimacy (not intercourse) is the connective tissue of deep, abiding relationships

Sexual intercourse happens to be one of the most fun and exciting parts of intimacy, but it’s certainly not the only, ahem, tool in the intimacy toolbox.

Kissing, holding hands, hugging, and seeing each other naked are acts of intimacy. But it’s bigger than that.

Changing a baby’s diaper or braiding your sister’s hair is an intimate act. Saying grace over dinner is an intimate act. Helping a wheelchair-bound friend learn to swim is an intimate act.

And haven’t you been near a couple who is arguing intensely in public and felt a bit uncomfortable? That’s because working out our differences is an intimate act.

I hope your man NEVER, EVER says THIS to you. (7 words every woman fears)

It’s more accurate to say intimacy is the foundation of all good relationships, and that definition does actually leave room for a good but “sexless” marriage.

What is a “sexless” marriage?

Again, this is not helpful language, but people DO talk about it this way.

Ten rolls in the hay or fewer per year defines a “sexless” marriage, according to Wikipedia’s sources. They are talking, of course, NOT about a relationship without sex, but rather a relationship without sexual intercourse.

There are many reasons committed couples might not be having intercourse, including:

  • depression
  • stress
  • issues connected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
  • erectile dysfunction (ED)
  • medications
  • low sexual interest or sexual aversion

As many as 15-20% of couples, according to one study, are in a “sexless” marriage.

I keep putting “sexless” in quotes because I think it’s an inadequate way to describe some of these relationships. Because some couples DO make it work, even without intercourse. Those couples may still have deep intimacy and things other than intercourse that are the glue of the relationship.

And obviously, for some people a relationship without intercourse is a deal-breaker, and those relationships will eventually fall apart.

A relationship WITHOUT intercourse can still be a relationship WITH sex…

Don’t narrow your definition of sex to the old in-and-out. There’s just so much more to it!

All intimacy is not sex, and all sex is not intercourse.

Kissing, stargazing with the one you love, stroking your partner’s skin all over, giving someone a steamy hot bath (don’t you LOVE to have your hair washed??), cuddling, napping together, massage, deep conversations, even dirty talk…

All these are part of a vibrant and fulfilling sex life, and while they might lead to some hot and heavy action between the sheets, they aren’t intercourse itself.

For that matter, you don’t have to have intercourse in order to have an orgasm!

So there is a great, creative wonderland filled with sensual and sexual delights that a couple who is NOT having intercourse might indulge in and enjoy.

The TRUE SECRET to every successful relationship in the world…

The secret to every successful relationship in the world is that both partners need to feel like their most important or highest needs are being met in a loving, caring way.

Whether those are needs for a particular level of sexual activity (to include or not include intercourse), a way of raising kids, or how you look at life, solid relationships are all about finding ways to share and meet each other’s needs in a way that benefits both of you.

Is the “Hook Up” industry stealing your man?

I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the “hook up” industry yet but you should burn it into your brain…

This is the billion dollar industry that is ruthlessly teaching men that staying in a committed relationship is for losers. Telling guys that being able to hook up with (have uncommitted sex with) a woman is what makes a Real Man.

If you want more than “friends with benefits,” then this should concern you.

Because unlike 50 years ago, men ARE BEING PROGRAMMED with this message every day. Being told…

  • that loving only one woman for life is wimpy or old-fashioned.
  • that a relationship is nothing more than a 30 minute “hook up.”
  • And that any woman can be replaced with a quick swipe of a finger over the touchscreen…

BUT some women are taking a stand. They’re taking back their men and relationships. Here’s how…

–> Watch “The Bonding Code” here… 

Companies like Blendr, Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison and more are hell-bent on pulling the two of you apart.

And for a while, YOUR man will ignore those tempting offers…

But what happens if you’ve had an argument, or you say the “wrong thing” in a text message?

It’s suddenly very easy to click that advertisement and take a quick look around… Soon he’s thinking to himself, “Hey this is too much work. I’ll just find something (someone) easier.”

A man will only TRULY BOND and COMMIT to you when you know this one secret to use during his moment of doubt and/or discouragement.

–> This is how men bond (for life)

Do this one thing, and he’ll finally realize it’s pointless to keep looking for another woman because he’ll have bonded completely and permanently to you.

Want to know the BEST PART?

This will work no matter how he feels towards you right now. He could even be furious and giving you the silent treatment and THIS will still work perfectly…

PS: If you’re like me, and prefer to READ, rather than watch a video, here’s the link that you’ll want:

–> READ the “Bonding Code” article here

xoxo Claire

2 comments on “Can You Have a Good Relationship WITHOUT Sex?

  1. Maira Griffith

    So… I can be with someone who will love and accept me forever and get married without having sex? The thought of intercourse scares me and I never want it to happen and I have been told that I will either be alone forever or he will go and have affairs with other women….now I am deeply depressed yes I am only 15 but my feelings wont change and they cannot change and I am mentally ready for a relationship tgat will last forever in fact it’s something I deeply crave but people say it will never happen

    • Claire Casey

      Hi there, Maira

      Feelings and relationships can sure be a challenge, huh?

      And don’t worry, no matter what you think or feel about sex, there WILL be someone out there — plenty of someones, actually — who will love and cherish you for the woman you are and the woman you will become.

      My biggest wish for you is that you will find a group of true, loyal, and wise friends who will love and encourage you rather than always tearing you down. Sounds like you’ve had plenty of unhelpful and negative people around you up to this point. Let those people go, darling, and build relationships with the ones who have your best interest at heart.

      You can do this, no matter what!


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