Men look at women. Of COURSE they do!
And if your body doesn’t look like you want it to, this can make you miserable. But it shouldn’t, and here’s why…
“If you have flat breasts and butt, does that mean men won’t look at you at all?”
I am very small and not exactly beautiful. I am flat in all places. No guy has ever asked me out and I have this mentality that I would probably never get married so I cover all my hurt and disappointments by insulting guys and saying that I just won’t get married.
I’m in university, and I get very depressed when I see girls my age attracting guys and being able to wear whatever they want whereas trousers sag if I wear them, and I look awful in skirts.
I don’t have any place on my body to be proud of apart from the fact that I don’t have a deformation. People tell me that they would rather have my size and I don’t believe them I am so insecure about myself.
What should I do? I am tired of being so depressed up to the point where I cry.” — E.
Beauty standards for women are ridiculous.
There’s insane cultural pressure to fit some unattainable feminine standard, and it never lets up. In a world where supermodels are unhealthily starved and underweight, even THIN women still feel they’re not the right shape or size.
Sarah Hyland (who is 5’2”) has certainly felt it. Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Evangeline Lilly, Michelle Williams… The list of women — even fabulously beautiful women — who have been criticized as “too skinny” is nuts. When will the scrutiny and criticism ever stop?
I wish I could tell you to avoid the Hollywood celebrity and supermodel culture, but that’s nearly impossible. But there are other ways to make it down the path you need to follow.
Here are a few ways to combat the constant pressure and win back some of your own confidence and pride…
I promise I’ll get to your point about dating (and show you how to make a true soulmate connection), but humor me and start here first. It will pay off, I promise! 😘
1. Give up the “grass is greener” fantasy.
Yes, men love to look at women. ALL kinds of women.
The women of our world are like a kaleidoscope of wonder and ability and intelligence and beauty. Everybody has something different to offer.
Just because one woman is tall or curvy and another is petite and thin… That doesn’t mean one is “right” or “best.” It also doesn’t mean one is going to have the life and relationships of her dreams while the other is doomed to cry herself to sleep alone every night.
Every woman deserves to be who they are, and go after the life they dream of.
2. Claim and celebrate your body’s strengths.
What can your body do? Are you a dancer, intellectual, cook, artist? Think about what your body is GOOD at. Make a list!
And when the negative thoughts try to muscle their way in, get your list out. Claim the positives, amazing woman.
Yes, men love to LOOK, but when your body is doing what it is so, so awesome at? That’s an even more powerful gift to you and any other person who is a part of it.
3. Support and invest in your body.
There’s no reason in the world you can’t have clothes that fit. They may not fit straight off the rack, but that’s what seamstresses and tailors are for! Get alterations made to your clothes so that they aren’t sagging off of you, or fitting poorly.
If you have fabulous shoulders, go sleeveless! If you’re a runner, get those awesome shoes no one can miss. Dress your body like it’s your best friend.
4. Celebrate, befriend, or work with differently-abled people.
Gratitude is a cure for SO many things, and a serious dose of it will help you stop hating your body and all the ways it supports your life.
Plus it’s just fun and gratifying and a good thing in the world to volunteer with people who are learning how to navigate the world without the same kind of body you have!
Visit a deaf theater performance, learn sign language, support a local wheelchair basketball league, volunteer to help with the Special Olympics…
5. Find your tribe and draw on their support.
Somewhere out there is a group of people who have similar skills, interests, struggles, and dreams. Start looking for them! Because every woman needs a tribe of girlfriends. These are the ones who have your back, laugh at your jokes, and remind you of what a gift you are in the world.
6. Remember that your fears are not the boss of you.
Sometimes your brain has an endless supply of reasons why you are inadequate, undesirable, and ugly.
The key to stop hating your body and start living a beautiful life is to work to lift up, celebrate, and repeat to yourself the good things and not allow the scared and angry inner voices to rule the day.
Confidence, pleasure in life, and joy are undeniably attractive — even more so that a conventionally pretty body shape. Men love to look at a woman who is positively engaged in the things she loves!
7. Give off THIS kind of aura (’cause self-confidence is hella sexy!)
If you’re giving off the aura of “I hate myself, I’m not worthwhile, I’m ugly” — that’s going to scare a lot of people (men and women) away.
But as you start reclaiming your power as a special, perfectly-made, born-for-a-reason woman… Well that’s pretty attractive.
And no, you won’t ALWAYS feel that way. None of us do.
But you CAN shift the balance here, and start working your way toward better self-confidence. You’ll get there, fierce heart!
Now get ready, because this next little headline is gonna send you for a rocket ride… 🙂
There’s no reason in the WORLD why you shouldn’t ask a guy out!
You said “no guy has ever asked me out…”
Well, it’s time for you to grab the handles of your own life.
Asking a guy out is easy! Here’s how…
Take a look around at some of the men you’re in classes with. Ask one what his major is. Invite one to have coffee with you after class. Ask one for help with something you’re both studying. Show interest in a man, and you’ll turn his head. Show pride in yourself and your abilities, and you’ll have him feeling very attracted.
You are SO much more than your body shape or size.
You are a unique, amazing woman with dreams for life, interests in many areas, insights to offer, funny jokes to tell, deep strengths you haven’t even discovered yet, and a crazy, wonderful future.
Find your TRUE soulmate, and build a relationship with consistency and DEVOTION…
If you’re serious about filling your heart and relationship with an overflowing, NOURISHING love and devotion…
If you want to make a man feel a hungry desire for COMMITMENT with you that’s deeply, truly into the territory of long term love…
This is perfect for women who want true DEVOTION, who want a man who cares about MORE than looks…
You’ll learn about…
- A Soulmate’s Connection. She’ll reveal the three psychological loopholes that will make a man fantasize about spending the rest of his life with you. (You need to know this).
- 3 questions that instantly reveal the weak spots in your relationship and how to fix them without him even realizing it. He’ll just notice that he feels closer to you than ever before, but won’t know why (don’t tell him your secret).
- If you are GIVING too much in relationship and never receiving, it could be because you were giving him the WRONG things. Learn the one thing you must give him that actually compels him to want to give you WAY more in return.
- 7 proven “heart melters” that you could whisper to him anytime that instantly soften his heart and make him feel more connected to you.
- The #1 criteria men use to decide if you’re “long term relationship material” or just good for short-term sex. Hint: it’s not at all what you think, and has nothing to do with sex. Most women around the world were taught the exact opposite of what really works.
If you have ever asked yourself, “Why aren’t men interested in who I TRULY am?”
No more wondering why the GOOD MEN are not pursuing you or showing up in your dating life….
No more trying to constantly “test the waters” and see if he’s commitment material.
If you are interested in building a long-term love, you should spend the time it takes to hear her out.
DO IT FOR YOU, bright soul.
PS: If you give yourself completely to a man (by being exclusive with him EVEN if he’s not exclusive with YOU), then he has no real urgency to commit to you.
He has no fear of loss, and so he’ll just take his sweet time and keep promising you he’ll commit SOMEDAY when he’s ready. You and I both know that someday never comes.
This makes it so EASY for him to commit to YOU, and here’s why:
Instead of the pressure to commit coming from you, he’ll put the pressure on himself. It works like magic!