At first glance, a narcissist is incredibly charming. And when he turns his sparkling smile on you, it’s like falling happily into a swimming pool filled with sunshine and champagne.
But there’s a darker side, isn’t there?
“Hi Claire, I have thought for some time my ex-fiancee was a narcissist. He would never listen or talk to me on important issues and once he even bought a new car way out of our price range without letting me know. He was terrible with money but the weird thing is, he didn’t think so. But it was his anger issues that finally broke us apart.
Now I’m dating another man and it seems like he has some of the same issues but he’s sure everyone thinks he’s great. Do I have ANOTHER narcissist boyfriend? Are all men like this?” — Ciara
Hi, Ciara. It does sound like your ex might have been a narcissist, but I don’t have enough information about the guy you’re dating now to know. HOWEVER it sounds like YOU have a pretty good radar for this kind of thing, so I would trust that instinct, fierce heart.
Check the signs below. If he has more than THREE of these characteristics, you may be in trouble…
Top 13 characteristics of a narcissist boyfriend, husband, or ex
- He wants all the attention, all the time. He can never get enough.
- He’s often rude, and if this is pointed out to him, he treats it as a joke and privately thinks (or even says outright) the other person is simply wrong about him.
- If he’s not being charming to get praise and attention, he spreads negativity. He may be emotionally (or physically) controlling or abusive in order to make himself feel powerful and keep others off-balance.
- He thinks he’s the awesomest man ever, and should be automatically granted success, power, and love, just for being who he is.
- He feels he is above the rules that apply to everyone else, because he is special. He always expects special treatment.
- If something goes wrong, he refuses to accept responsibility. Nothing is ever his fault. If you insist that he should shoulder some of the blame or responsibility, he becomes angry or insulting.
- No empathy. He’s terrible at listening to or understanding the needs of others.
- He only does things nice for other people if there’s an audience watching.
- He thinks everyone is jealous of him, or wishes they were him.
- He doesn’t see any reason to include his girlfriend or wife in important decisions, because his needs and desires are the only ones that truly matter to him.
- He wants his wife or girlfriend act, look, and behave according to his dictates. If you refuse, he becomes angry, and blames you for inciting his anger.
- He’s a bully. He is a master of put-downs, insults, and mean-spirited behavior.
- He wants the “best” of everything (food, cars, clothes, etc.) and is frequently angry if he doesn’t have it.
Why is it so easy to fall for and end up with a narcissist?
Narcissists are natural charmers!
They want, more than anything, for people to believe in the same fantasy that they have about themselves. And they’ll work incredibly hard — but only on a surface level — to get that.
Why does it seem so easy to GO BACK TO a narcissist boyfriend?
Narcissists can be love-bombers when there’s something they want.
They will do everything they can to get you to come back and play the “I am wonderful” game some more, or so they can get some resource you have that they want (like money).
Unfortunately, they are also prone to rage when you don’t give them what they want.
So what can I do if I’m being circled by a narcissist?
Your quiet indifference to him is his kryptonite. And your absence. If he can’t get you to be his audience or supply of resources, he doesn’t want you.
Is it possible to turn a HABITUAL WOMANIZER into a MONOGAMY OBSESSED man who’ll worship you morning, noon and night?
Yes it is! Here’s how…
All you have to do is spend just 27 seconds and sneak this “SECRET MESSAGE” into your next conversation.
And almost instantly…
He’ll start to FEEL such uncontrollable DESIRE that he’ll want to surrender to you without a second thought.
Very quickly his emotions will shift and intensify this desire into a deep, unbreakable attachment.
It will grow into such a ravenous, obsessive NEED that he’ll forget every other woman…
And will be left thirsting for your LOVE all day long.
PS: This is so darn easy that you might have to convince yourself that you’re not dreaming it up!