You have a good man, but you want more sensual fizz in your relationship! Chemistry! A bit of sexy drama and sizzling-hot fun…
“I really want to be in love with him, but…”
“Hi Claire, I love your advice! I’m 50 and have been divorced for about 15 years now. I have been picking the wrong men since then (obviously since I’m still single). There is a man in my life who wants to be with only me and treats me like a queen. He is ‘good on paper’ and offers everything I’ve been looking for.
I won’t sleep with or commit to him because my feelings aren’t as strong for him. I really want to be in love with him, but certain things about his personality just rub me the wrong way. There are no major issues, he just talks and dresses like the 60 year old man he is. How can I get over my own issues with his age and accept him for who he is?” —S.
Hey, gorgeous, thanks for your email.
I believe the phrase “in love” is the key here.
Feeling “in love” and doing the work of building a committed, long-term love are two very different things.
The “in love” phase of a relationship is pretty short-lived, and it’s driven by chemical reactions that make us feel entirely wack-a-doodle crazy-happy: like we’ve FINALLY found the ONE PERSON in ALL THE WORLD who UNDERSTANDS us!!! 😉
You want some sensual fizz, some relationship intensity, but he’s sort of ordinarily wonderful.
I mean, you DID have a lovely list of positives going here…
- He’s committed to you
- He treats you like a queen
- He offers everything you’ve been looking for
- There are no major issues
He’s great “on paper” like you say, but you want a bit of excitement. A Hollywood moment. To be swept off your feet.
And while you already know that a great relationship isn’t packed with exciting scene after exciting scene (thank heaven), you CAN do some things to bump up the excitement levels in this.
You absolutely CAN boost the level of sensual fizz, excitement, and sizzle with him!
I know the excited feeling you’re talking about, and even when you’ve been married or in a relationship for ages — with the “in-love” stage long gone, you can STILL easily get an energy burst of excitement together.
Being a sensual woman or partner is about FAR more than just sex. It’s about your growing awareness of the deep, luxurious pleasure you take in life and love.
Here are 8 “get some Sensual Fizz going” tricks…
Here are 8 easy-but-powerful sensuality boosters, and I’ll leave the REALLY BIG one for the very end of my email…
1. The eyes have it
There is nothing so sexy as a woman making hot, smoldering eye contact with a guy she’s interested in. Try holding eye contact a few seconds longer than you usually do. Make your eyes tell him I want you. I would love to get sexy with you. You’re gorgeous.
2. Revel in simple pleasures
Go barefoot in the grass. Let the ocean’s gentlest waves tickle your skin. Luxuriate in a scented bath, the sun kissing your face, or the spicy scent of a man’s leather jacket. Blow bubbles, swim naked, breathe in the fragrance of a pine forest. Look for and take deep, slow pleasure in the simple sensory gifts of your life.
3. Learn to day “No” to others so you can say “Yes” to sensual time with your man
Sometimes you repress your sensuality because you’re just so damn busy. Let go of the busyness. Look for ways to reclaim time to relax, appreciate, and enjoy your beautiful body and all the good sights, scents, touches, and sexy murmurs of the man you love.
4. Pack a sexy picnic to share with him
5. Take the TV and computer out of your bedroom
And enjoy the pleasure of a really solid, refreshing night’s sleep (or cuddles, or long talks with the lights out, or sexytimes).
6. Bend the rules
Get out of your comfort zone in order to try new things, collect more experiences. Let yourself be immersed in something fresh and different and find out what it can teach you about yourself.
7. Enjoy some positive adrenaline bursts
Becoming a sensual woman is also about treating your body and mind to regular exhilaration, adrenaline, and maybe even a touch of “yikes”! Do the “haunted tour” of your city, hike up to a breathtaking mountain overlook, or accept that invitation to your girlfriend’s boxing class.
Studies have shown that when couples share a pleasurable adrenaline burst, they bond more deeply. What kind of adrenaline-inducing dates can you think of? Ferris wheel ride?
8. Be a little racy
You can be as sexy as you wanna be. Try some “secret” lingerie under your regular work clothes. Pick up a fiery little erotic romance novel at the library. Let yourself wear that gorgeous bright lipstick (outside your normal range) or nail color…
Now. Regarding how he dresses and talks…
You said “he talks and dresses like the 60 year old man he is.”
I think the talk may come around when you turn on the flow of sensual fizz with the tips above.
And physical appearance can be important, too. You WANT him to LOOK as attractive because you enjoy that. So give him a hand!
Tell him what kinds of looks you love, or give him a few attractive items (I’m in LOVE with a crisp white oxford shirt, plus bonus!! I can wear it making breakfast after a fun night together).
Take him shopping! Point out men dressed the way you love and tell him how sexy you find it.
If he wants to please you, he’ll make the effort.
YOU have SO much power here to go after the relationship you dream of! Grab it, girlfriend.
The REALLY BIG ONE: Send him this (crazy but awesome) “Desire Text”!
Every man is DYING to read THIS text message!
This is probably the most dramatic video I’ve ever seen, because in it, Amy North tells a gut-wrenching story that will make you laugh and cry at the same time.
This text uses a powerful psychological technique that Hollywood screenwriters use in their movies to hook an audience in… and you can use this technique to make him crave you until the end of your days.
If you’re even the slightest bit curious, then watch this video now:
PS: The second you send this text to a man, don’t be surprised if he becomes strangely drawn to you (for reasons he won’t be able to explain).
Don’t be surprised if that man who’s been distant in your life begins calling you, texting you, and telling you how he’s ready to commit to you… forever and always.
You simply have to watch this video!