You can be happy without dating, you know.
Does that sound nutty as a fruitcake? (And aren’t fruitcakes fruity, rather than nutty? Never mind.)
I mean it. You don’t have to date, ever.
In fact, I’m giving you gentle permission (not that you need it) to not ever date if you don’t want to…
“Hi Claire, I’m 23 years old, I don’t have boyfriend, and haven’t had one for 3 years. 🙂 I have a guy whose been courting me a year now. My friends told me start dating him, but I always say no. It’s not like I don’t like the guy, he’s my friend. He’s nice and thoughtful. My friends told me I’m being choosy or picky when it comes to a guy. I just don’t know what to do. Hope you can help me about this.” – Becca
Hey there, Becca, thanks for writing. I have some good news for you. You’re not being picky, you’re just not interested in dating right now. And guess what? You don’t have to be.
Not now, not ever.
7 good reasons why you’re perfectly fine as you are, without dating anyone right now:
- You don’t need to be someone’s girlfriend, wife, lover, or partner to feel good about yourself.
- You’re allowed to get to know yourself… All on your own.
- You get to put other interests (school, career, life, etc.) before dating if you want to.
- You get to choose the timing of when you date. Maybe you’ll be 24, maybe you’ll be 54. Maybe you’ll choose to be single forever. People do, sometimes.
- Dating is not a cure for loneliness or boredom.
- You shouldn’t be looking for just ANY relationship. (Look for the right one. When you’re ready.)
- It’s perfectly fine to be happy and single! Forever, if you like.
When (and if) you decide you are ready to date, don’t let even your most well-meaning friends push you in a direction THEY think is good for you.
Soooo many women jump crazily past the ideas of being happily single or casually (rather than seriously) dating that you’d think the both of those options were two seething piles of spiders. Those women want to leap straight into deeply committed married life, and they often miss the mark or wreck their relationships BECAUSE they skipped being single and then dating casually.
Work at your own pace, and enjoy the many discoveries you’ll make along the way.
Just because you aren’t dating doesn’t mean you’re sad or lonely
Sometimes your friends will push you to date because they don’t realize that being single is not the same as being sad or alone.
Lots of single women and men live lives FILLED with joy and loads of friends, both male and female.
Being happy without dating also doesn’t mean you’re selfish…
A beautiful story about my lifelong single friend
Sometimes people use their singlehood to serve another purpose.
When I was growing up there was a happily single man who had a “normal” job which paid the bills, but in truth he dedicated himself to a home-building charity he loved.
Because he didn’t have a wife and children at home, he was the one people called on to pitch in when they were short-handed. He knew all the ins and outs of carpentry and building homes, and he was a brilliant, patient teacher. And he truly believed in the mission he volunteered so much of his time for. People could feel that radiating off of him, and we loved him for it.
Many, many homes were built with his love, and I know the families who were a part of that process with my friend benefitted from his gift.
He could never have given so VERY much if he’d also had a wife and children in his life.
You can be happy without dating, just like he was. You really can.
The true gift of not dating is THIS…
It’s a beautiful gift to be able to discover, love, and know yourself fully, just as you are.
Just because you’re human doesn’t mean you have to be dating or married. There’s so much to learn from and enjoy about being single. You are a complete woman, all by yourself!
Accept the gift of your singlehood, enjoy the pleasure of your own company and that of all your friends, and be happy… Just because you can.
Creatively shake things up a little!
Not too long ago I was in a space of recovering from an intense and difficult experience, and on a whim I signed up to get a free numerology reading based on my name and birth date.
I guess I just wanted to see what the universe might say to me.
When I got my free reading, I sat there in shock. Some of the things it revealed were fascinating, and they prompted me to look at my life in a way I had not done for SO LONG.
I wish I had not waited so long to try it.
Sometimes you get tired – you only see, hear, and think about things the way you always have. And that makes it difficult to make shifts that can benefit your life and grow your spirit in new, fresh directions.
Invite some fresh, unexpected insight into your life!
Try things that are utterly new now and then.
Let those great currents of the universe help you look in new directions, and be open to sparkling new possibilities…!
PS: And just in case you’re wondering – this reading is NOT one of those generic horoscope style readings that applies to everyone. Every prediction and explanation you’re about to see is based on YOUR personal numbers.
Just pop in your name and date of birth and voila!
You should totally try this (it’s free!)…
You can pay for additional help later if you want (I did), but the first reading really is a gift.
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