Are you dating for the first time in your 50s and worried that things might be harder for you now than they were when you were first in this game?
No worries, beautiful. You have more advantages now than you realize!
“Dear Claire, I am 50 years old and been single for 7 years. 5 years ago I decided to get back into the darting world as I was happy, content and busy with my life, my girlfriends and family, and thought a little romance would be wonderful.
I was open and tried many dating options, ie online, through friends, people I met through my work, I would go on dates only to find myself repeatedly in the same scenarios: 1) he “forgot” he was married or 2) declared his love for me after a couple of dates and wanted to get married the next week.
I saw the red flags and I never ended up in bed with these men.
My question is: do you think that dating later in life becomes much more difficult? even impossible?
It becomes very difficult to remain positive (romantically) after repeated bad experiences and I really feel that being single for the rest of my life would be less stressful.
I wish you continued success in your work and I look forward to each article received from you.” – Martina (in Spain)
Hi, Martina, I’m so pleased that you wrote, and I thank you for your sweet words.
Good for you for being a sexy, sensible woman dating in your 50s! You’re an inspiration to a LOT of women.
And good for you for seeing the red flags and getting out quickly. (Btw, if YOU want to learn what Martina already knows, here’s an article about how to know if a guy you’re dating is married.)
And I realize you have kind of a bad taste in your mouth after your experiences. I have bad news and good news for you.
The bad news is that there are STILL deceitful, untrustworthy, and weird guys (and gals) out there in the world.
The good news is that there are plenty of wonderful ones, too.
Don’t let the bad ones stop you! EVERYONE has to deal with a bad apple now and then. I know you feel like you’ve had more than your share, but sometimes the cards just deal out that way.
And I know this about you: You are NOT the type to allow the jokers in the world to PREVENT you from pursuing and enjoying some romance in your life.
Really, as a woman dating in your 50s, you have so many advantages over younger women dating these days!
7 Advantages to Dating in Your 50s
1. You’re not looking for a man with a pristine past.
You already know that everybody has baggage, and you’re not likely to find that off-putting.
2. You already have relationship experience.
Remember how full of drama your first relationship fights were? Whew, glad that’s over. Nowdays you know how to speak up, work through problems, and get the things you need for yourself.
3. You’re probably much more comfortable with your sexuality.
When we are in our teens and early twenties, we’re still trying to figure all that stuff out. Not only that, you’ve long since figured out what your body needs to feel aroused and wonderful, and you can communicate that with him.
4. You’re not being driven by the “have a baby / start a family” urges.
If you’re dating in your 50s, you’re not looking for a baby daddy, and if you have kids already, they no longer need so much of your time and energy.
5. You might get to start something with a guy you already know.
Wow, the stories I could tell about old flames reconnecting on Facebook…
6. You don’t sweat the small stuff.
By the time you survive your 30s, you’re starting to figure out how to keep the main thing the main thing. When you’re dating in your 50s, you no longer fret over every itty-bitty compromise or flaw. Boy, does that ever make dating simpler.
7. You’re open to a wider age range in partners.
When you’re younger, you tend to have very specific expectations about what age your partner should be. If you’re 30 and dating a 20-year-old, that can be a little weird. When you’re 50 and dating a 40-year-old, it’s just not as big of a deal.
So start with these, beautiful
You’re a smart, gorgeous woman dating in your 50s. Spend some time loving what’s wonderful about your life! Then go out there and showcase it to those admiring single men. Be smart how you choose, and take your time getting to know your partner. Plenty of romance and pleasure is waiting for you.
Want to add “Attraction Jet Fuel”?
Scientific research has found certain phrases create feelings of euphoria in the human brain, much like addictive drugs. These words and phrases can be used to make a man experience attachment, love, and long-term devotion.
Kelsey Diamond spent 3 years researching these unique “emotional trigger phrases,” and built them into a complete guidebook called Obsession Phrases.
Watch this video (Patrick does the video, but it’s about Kelsey’s work) to see how Kelsey helped hundreds of women at $300 an hour with one-on-one coaching, and then turned it into a course for much less than that.
→ How to make a man crave you (at any age!)
It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single, what your body looks like, or how old you are – if you want to make a man crave you, these “obsession phrases” work for everyone.
The Monogamy Awakener Phrase is most effective on the guy who just won’t commit. Dating any commitment phobes? This is the Phrase you want to use.
The Whiz-Bang Phrase instills in his mind just how valuable you are to him. Once he hears the whiz-bang phrase he will start to see you as the most important person in his life that he never wants to lose.
The Attraction Spinner Phrase is perfect for a woman who feels she is being used. If you think he only sees you as a friend or a fling, the Attraction Spinner Phrase will have him completely open up his heart and mind toward you.
→ Unusual words that leave men mesmerized
You’ll also find phrases for use in situations like
- Getting your ex back (Love Cocktail Phrase)
- Making him fall in love (Subconscious Bonding Phrase)
- Keeping him from straying (Permanent Obsession Phrase)
Take a look at the video, try one of these phrases out tonight, and watch to see what happens!
If you are in a location that is very rural, like Maine where I am, there are not a lot of options in the local vicinity. Online options cut us off if we are over 50. I am a very young and active 50, but that doesn’t matter. No one will even look at my profile because it says 53 on the age, even though I am in incredible shape and spar/fight with martial arts with younger men. And beat them. I have always dated younger men. Everyone thinks I am at minimum 10 years younger. But this doesn’t translate into online dating well. It seems the men look at age first an rule women out
I live in a very rural population. I don’t know what to do next.
Hi, Karen. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
I realize being in a deeply rural area can make things more difficult for you, but it does sound like you have gyms nearby, which means you also probably have libraries, learning centers, and community groups within reach as well. It sounds like you’re making an effort to date, which is not true of everyone in your situation. Good on ya!
And I wrote a short book on this subject that Digital Romance sells ($7, I think) called “The Shy Girl’s Guide to Where the Men Are” — I’m not sure exactly why they put “shy” in the title because it works for any woman. 🙂 It might be something you’re interested in looking at, because in it I list lots of “man maps” for where to look in any area to find more groups of single, dateable men. NO bars or creepy singles groups, either. You can find it at this link:
http://shygirlsguide.digitalromanceinc.com/
Let me know if you find it helpful.
I know you’re going after what you want already. Don’t lose heart! You can do this, and you deserve it.