Intimacy & Sex

How to Handle Your Boyfriend’s Low Sex Drive

You know there’s no “magic” number of times per week (month, year) that you SHOULD be getting it on with your guy… But you’re definitely wanting more sexytimes than he does, and you’re not sure what to do about it.

Here are 3 POTENT TIPS (insert sex joke here) for how to handle your boyfriend’s low sex drive…And make BOTH of you much happier!

What to Do When Your Sex Drive Is Higher Than His…

You may be feeling a little embarrassed about it, but dealing with a boyfriend’s low sex drive is not nearly as unusual as you might think… In fact, it happens in about 30% of couples.

So if that’s you, what are your options? How do you get your own desires met when you’re the one who wants sex more often than he does?

“Hi Claire, I’ve read your Capture His Heart course and it worked! I’ve been living with my gorgeous guy for two years now. We have so much fun together.

The only problem is he’s never had a high sex drive and only wants to make love at most once every couple of weeks. I try not to pressure him but I’d like it more often and I really wish we could tell each other what feels good so we could both enjoy making love together for fun and closeness but if I try to initiate he just laughs and goes to sleep.

What can I do about my boyfriend’s low sex drive? How can I get more delicious closeness with him?” – Sofia

Hi, Sofia; thanks for writing. And I have great news for you: there really are a LOT of things you can do…

1. Start Well in Advance

Girlfriend, I can’t believe you said “if I try to initiate he just laughs and goes to sleep.” You know as well as I do that a man’s arousal begins the same place yours does: the brain. You want him thinking about getting some sexytime with you LONG before the two of you are actually in bed for the night. Guys deserve foreplay too!

This isn’t necessarily JUST about your boyfriend’s low sex drive; it’s about you, too! Want to know how to get some smokin’ hot lustfires started? Read on.

Secret Dirty Phrase to Make Him YOURS

2. Unlock His Sexual Preferences

Want to see a drastic change in your boyfriend’s low sex drive? You need to know what turns him on, so you can warm up his engine. Look back at specific times when the sex between the two of you was mind-blowingly delicious.

  • What fantasies did you talk about or enact?
  • What was the specific situation (time of day, fresh out of the shower, low job stress, etc.)?
  • Were there clothes, places, toys, games, or positions that seemed to really add fuel to his sexual fire?
  • What kind of “dirty talk” makes him groan with pleasure?
  • You can also ask him outright about his favorite sexual fantasies; even the act of talking about his favorite set-ups is likely to lead to some steamy action.

Btw, if you want more than 100 extra-juicy erotic questions to get him aroused with, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter, because one of the gift ebooks I send to everyone (after the Love Number book) is called Drive Him Wild, and let me assure you girlfriend, it will make him pant and ache and need to adjust himself…

3. Widen Your Definition of Sexual Activity

You said you want “delicious closeness” with your man…

Make Him Want YouShoot, girl, there’s plenty of ways to get intimacy outside of intercourse.

What about phone sex? Or taking a shower together, sexy texting, couples massage, mutual touching, watching a sexy movie, bj’s, handjobs, reading him a passage out of a dirty story, nasty-dancing, or even shopping together for sexy clothes and lingerie?

There are so many ways to be erotically connected with your partner that don’t begin (but may end!) with the two of you shagging in a mad-hot frenzy. You just may forget that you ever even thought you were dealing with a boyfriend’s low sex drive. Get creative and have fun!

Remember, everybody has a different libido…

In the end, your sex drive and his sex drive and everybody’s sex drive in the entire world is different and weird and and hilarious and wonderful. Nobody gets a cast-in-shining-perfection-with-whips-and-rainbow-sparkles sexual match.

Which is part of what makes it all so insanely interesting, right?

So your task, as half of a committed couple, is to figure out how to make your weirdly-shaped libidos fit together. Or at least rub together enough to feel pleasurable and make you smile. 🙂

This naughty erotic secret will make him LOSE his MIND with DESIRE…

To get a man to be focused on you and only you he craves and desires you constantly all you have to do is _____________.

Can you fill in the blank?

–> Erotic secret for women who want to (happily) shock and amaze their man

pink kissIf you feel like you never get what *you* need in bed from any guy you date, then you must read this eye-opening, life-changing article right now…

The amazing thing is that this works to explode your boyfriend’s low sex drive without him having ANY idea you’re using it… Or why he’s suddenly so desperate to give YOU the pleasure, attention and *connection* you crave . .

In this video (or you can click here for the article version without sound) you’ll learn how to get a man turned on and desperate for you while fully clothed and acting totally innocent… 🙂

And don’t forget to do THIS, girlfriend…

Use your words.

If your boyfriend’s low sex drive becomes an issue that you can’t seem to solve with any of the tools I’ve already listed, then you need to have a loving, grown-up conversation with him about it.

If one of your foundational needs in the relationship is a certain kind and frequency of sex, he needs to understand and know how best to make you feel loved, right?

You got this, I just know you do.

xoxo Claire

2 comments on “How to Handle Your Boyfriend’s Low Sex Drive

  1. Claire, congratulations for another brilliant article! And oh boy, this brings back memories of my ex three years ago… His low libido made me feel completely unattractive and unwanted… I can definitely empathize with Sofia… Hang in there, sister!!! *sends hugs*

    One thing I’d like to add (it doesn’t apply to this situation, because Sofia says her guy never had a high sex drive to begin with; but it might help someone else to share this lesson): if the guy used to have a high libido and it went down, it MIGHT be a symptom of something more serious (i.e., clinical depression, hormonal issues or any number of physical illnesses). If that’s the situation, Claire’s tips might not work that well, in which case, ladies, please don’t feel guilty, and please don’t let it affect your self-esteem! I did, and it felt awful, and it didn’t help anyone; luckily, I’ve learned better… (sorry for imparting unsolicited advice, Claire! I just felt really triggered by the memories and felt that I needed to share this…)

    • Claire Casey

      Hi, Julia, you marvelous woman. You’ve SO made my day with your comment here.

      I always appreciate when someone brings up an additional angle to a situation many women find themselves in, because you know what? We seem to easily forget that we aren’t alone. Others have faced what we’re facing, and have wisdom to share. Girlfriend, that makes a huge difference. So thanks. Because you are 100% right — any major change in a man’s (or woman’s) sex drive might be an indicator of something else going on.

      So — to anyone who’s reading, I hope you’ll do what Julia says: hang onto your heart (don’t let yourself feel “to blame”) and carefully, lovingly, look into the issue. And get the help you need. You both deserve it. <3

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