You’ve been looking for someone to love, and for someone who will love you, too. Why aren’t things coming together for you? You could be making one simple oversight…
“I just want someone to love me…”
“Hi Claire, I don’t know where to begin…? I am hoping for some self worth from someone who knows nothing about me. I’m a single mother of two wonderful children, divorced from my husband for 5 years now.
I met a guy two years after my divorce, and it lasted a year, but ended when neither of us wanted to commit.
Now, 2 years after THAT, I’m still single but messing around with “friends with benefits” and “f-buddies” and I just can’t do this any more. I get attached, and want more from these guys (one of whom is married), and it’s killing my self-esteem.
I’ve tried online dating and end up just chatting to guys for weeks/months like we’re good friends and nothing develops from it. I just want to find someone to love me for who I am.” — Kaye
Beautiful, fierce Kaye. I have TWO bits of advice for you, and I’ll tackle the easy one first.
First of all, you said, “I just want to find someone to love me for who I am.”
That’s a big, wonderful life goal!
But it doesn’t come easily. It takes time, energy, effort.
And the FWB, f-buddies, married men, and any other relationships which clearly are NOT going to end in your goal being met is just wasting your time and energy.
So my simplest advice is to stop investing in the relationships that are NOT going anywhere, and keep working at the ones which have potential.
It sounded like you’ve started a few of those online, but you have to do it with more intention.
If a relationship is stagnant for a long period of time (you said “weeks/months” so I’m not sure if you’re being patient enough or not), move on to someone else.
If it’s slowly growing into something better (and that takes spending time together), that’s what you’re looking for.
Guess what?? I FOUND someone to love you!!
And you’re gonna smack your forehead when you hear WHO it is.
It’s YOU, beautiful soul.
I realize that’s not exactly what you wanted to hear, but to achieve the things you dream of, you MUST value yourself highly. You have to learn to love yourself the way you are, with OR without a man in your life.
And if there’s something in you that you don’t like, you have to make a plan and work to improve it. You want to grow into the woman you dream of becoming, and that isn’t always simple or effortless.
This is so easy to say, much harder to do.
Building your self-love/self-esteem means things like
- Stopping your inner negative self-talk
- Not comparing yourself to others
- Appreciating and celebrating (daily!) the good things about yourself
- Living in a way that aligns with what you value
- Being kind and generous toward others, and toward yourself
- Accepting that you’ll make mistakes, and not “beating yourself up” over them
- Spending time with positive, not toxic, people
- Taking small steps every day toward your life goals/dreams
You are worth this!
And I really hope you’ll go after it, wild heart.
Once you love yourself, here’s how to capture HIS heart…
Are you ready to open that door that magically pulls men in?
Whether you’ve been with a man for 20 years, or you’re single and looking for Mr. Right, this puts the spark into AND relationship… and it can make your man melt for you instantly!
Watch the Video Now!You’ll learn powerful feminine secrets, techniques, and ideas including:
- The 7 Unconscious Obstacles Women Put Up that make it impossible for the man of your dreams to ever find you.
- The 6 Subtle “Forces” That Drive Men From The Inside – and how women can tweak these forces to drive men to incredible emotional ecstasy.
- Why “Beauty” Is Actually Only The 3rd Most Important Thing To Men – and how women can be radiantly attractive to men without makeup or killing yourself at the gym.
- The “Perfect Man List”… and what most women leave OFF the list that dooms them to misery, breakup, loneliness or divorce.
You’ll also find out WHY guys lose interest after you’ve had sex with them…
And how to keep a guy 110% focused on YOU as his “forever” woman.
Just imagine…
…All the anxiety, fear, disappointment and anger you feel around guys right now just disappearing, almost like magic
…the sadness and the feeling that you’re not good enough finally fading away
…the fear of it being “too late” for you to find real love, or that you should just “settle” draining away like water
–> Get ready to have the beautiful, passionate relationship you deserve.
goodmorning mrs claire casey my name is helen I am from greece and 40 years old.I had four relationship failed and one engament.I am eight years without man.one year without job.I feel empty.please help and if you find the time please to advice me.thank you so much to read my message,have a nice day.
Hi, Helen —
Whew! Sounds like you’ve been through the wringer of late. And it sounds like you could use two things, for starters.
First, call in your support network! You need your girlfriends, mentors, family, and dear friends around to support you. This isn’t about not being in a relationship with a MAN, it’s about giving YOU all the love and support you need right now.
Second, work on the job piece of the puzzle. When you feel financially secure, you’ll be in a MUCH better place to put yourself back into the dating world. And let your friends and family help you in that, too.
It might even be a time in your life when you can dream up something new for yourself — a career you have always wanted to test out, a job you’ve considered but never actually tried for.
May you find a storehouse filled with loving encouragement from your tribe as you reach out for what comes next in your life. I know you can do it!
xoxo
Claire