Whether you had suspicions of infidelity for a while, or his cheating exploded your relationship all at once, you probably feel completely overwhelmed. A total basket case.
And because it’s so highly emotional, overwhelming, and devastating, you tend to do all the wrong things, things which you don’t even realize could easily PROLONG the misery, anger, and frustration you currently are experiencing, and PREVENT you from beginning to recover from infidelity.
Before you can effectively confront and deal with the affair, you need a strategy to deal with your own “basket case-itis.” To do that, 4 shifts that must take place.
Recover from Infidelity Step 1: Unlearn what you think you know about infidelity…
You probably haven’t formally had training on the dynamics of infidelity (not much exists). But you probably HAVE picked up on powerful assumptions about infidelity and affairs informally through television, romantic novels, tabloids, gossip and movies.
And 90% of these assumptions are dead wrong. Not only are they dead wrong, they are deadly.
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Dealing with a cheating partner and need help right now? Click here to get TWO free “Stop The Hurt Now” resources.
Recover from Infidelity Step 2: Understand that this is not about YOU.
Nothing about YOU caused the affair. YOU don’t have the problem here, your cheating spouse does.
Very, very few “affair relationships” (what he has with the other woman) ever become healthy or sustainable.
Why not? Because the very seeds which cause the affair in the first place are STILL in place with your spouse or boyfriend and the woman he cheats with.
Recover from Infidelity Step 3: Know that there are reasons for infidelity.
You must be able to stand back and see the motives and reasons for his temporary insanity. And, there are reasons.
Affairs don’t just emerge out of thin air. Lifelong patterns, in some cases, almost guarantee an affair, an affair that had its seeds long before he met you.
Uncover your cheating spouse’s deeper traits and patterns and you will think, “Wow! So that’s why he is having an affair. Now things make more sense.”
Suddenly, you begin to sleep better. You obsess less, the pain subsides, and you begin to live again, and plan your next move.
This is when you will REALLY begin to recover from infidelity!
Recover from Infidelity Step 4: Assume your personal power.
You must move out of the victim role and assume your personal power. This is not as difficult as it may seem.
Once the top three conditions are met you will begin to feel your power. I want for you to hold your head high and be able to confront your cheating spouse in a powerful manner, look him square in the eye, so that he is the first one to blink.
Begin your journey here…
From my research over the past 15 years I’ve uncovered 7 completely different types of affairs. Each represents deeply engrained and self defeating patterns and themes that contribute to the likelihood of an affair.
Take the first step now: Click HERE to get Dr. Bob Huizenga’s free “7 Types of Affairs” download
90% of my readers find that taking this single small step – standing back and seeing the larger picture and learning the underlying motives for the affair – gives them instant emotional relief.
It’s completely free; you can download the report right here.
Just understanding this one piece of the puzzle will lift some of the heaviness off your shoulders, and help you begin to have that sense of understanding and personal power.
It’s the absolute best way to begin your journey of recovery.
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As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Psychotherapist, Bob Huizenga has spent more than 20 years helping thousands of people who are experiencing marital problems (such as affairs). The author of dozens of powerful ebooks and audio coaching tapes, he combines professional and personal experience to give you an incredibly accurate way to get to the heart of the affair in your marriage and pinpoint exactly what you can do to break free from the affair.