You had always dreamed of a forever love, and when you first met, your love was like a fairy tale. Everything worked like magic. It was easy and beautiful. But over time, things began to fade…
What happened to your “forever love”? Why are things so hard now when once they were as simple as turning your face to the sunshine?
And even more importantly, how can you get back the love you KNOW lives within your relationship, but just doesn’t seem to flow out as effortlessly as it once did?
“Claire, I have been married for 2 years and never have wanted to be with another person. But this past year my husband has not tried to do anything special for me whatsoever. He hasn’t told me he loved me first unless he was feeling bad about something. I love my husband and I know he used to love me. What is it that I’m missing that is a possible reason? I have not one friend or close person to me I could express anything like this to. And communication isn’t his strong suit either. He doesn’t do any of that and never has been a chatty person.”
Hi, Amy – You CAN have a forever love, but first you have some work to do, girlfriend. It’s the normal kind of work that every couple must decide to do, or else they limp along until something comes by which breaks the marriage completely apart.
Sometimes couples don’t do this work because they don’t realize it needs to be done, and sometimes they are just busy with other things. But it’s pretty much guaranteed that if you choose NOT to keep your relationship healthy, it will eventually break apart or quietly dissolve.
Here’s what’s on your work order:
1. Open some lines of communication.
A forever love is one that can get through conflict and come out stronger, and to do that, you need to be able to TALK to each other.
It doesn’t matter if communication isn’t his (or your) “strong suit” – nobody is naturally good at it. You just have to practice, that’s all!
Choose a good time, have ONE specific goal, raise the issue gently and without drama, and talk to him about it. And listen to his input as well.
It sounds like it’s very important to you that he does special things for you – maybe brings you flowers, or washes your car, or fixes you dinner… Whatever it is that makes you feel most loved, that’s what you’re missing and that’s what you need to talk to him about.
If it’s important that he tells you that he loves you, then that’s something to raise with him, too. But only pick one big topic at a time, otherwise you’ll feel the urge to dump everything on him at once and that won’t help either of you.
2. Find and build some true friendships.
A forever love needs long term friendships to support it.
You need people who are willing to listen when you need to talk. People who can see things that are going on in your relationship because they aren’t the one in the middle of it. You need someone who can advise and encourage you!
So take a look at the people around you and figure out who you need to begin building a relationship with.
And remember: true, good, life-changing friendships also don’t “just happen.” You’ll want to keep in touch regularly, learn how to communicate well with them, and also add value to their lives. That’s what a really good friend does.
Read More: The Test of a REAL Friend
3. Learn what makes him (and you) feel loved.
In a forever love, both people KNOW what makes them feel loved. It sounds like you have a reasonably clear picture of what you need from him – you just have to communicate that to him and help him learn to do those things for you.
And you also need to learn what makes HIM feel loved. I think those things will be easy for you do DO, but it may take some brain noodling time to figure out WHAT they are…
Most men love words of affirmation and praise, plenty of intimacy and bonding (not only in the bedroom, either), and they want to feel needed by the woman they love.
And don’t forget that you can also go back up to #1 above and talk with him about it!
Read More: 9 Ways to Make a Man Crave You Desperately
Amy, I promise you this is all completely normal, and EVERY “forever love” relationship has to figure out how to do it. So you can too.
How to help him feel “FOREVER LOVE” for you
But there’s a RIGHT kind of drama that men just can’t resist. This kind triggers shudders of pleasure and intense love for you inside him…
Once you discover this secret, you’ll notice that your presence will make him feel so good he will ache to be around you as much as possible.
If you want to create THAT kind of drama with a guy go watch this short video right now! He will be so happy, you will think you’re dreaming… 🙂