Almost no one sets out to fall in love across continents, but guess what? Love happens. Here’s how to make the most of an international dating relationship…
Are you anxious about diving into an international dating relationship? Here’s how it really CAN work…
Hi Claire! I met this guy on a cruise and we had an amazing 4 nights together! Talked about everything, sex was gooood, we got along pretty well. We live on different continents, but we’ve been talking over FB and Snapchat, although our communication is less and less frequent.. I know he likes me, but he said the other day “The problem is you’re a million miles away.” We have talked over the phone, but it’s not frequent… I don’t know what to do! Should I just stop talking to him? Or what can I say to make him talk to me more often? How to know if he would be willing to have a long distance dating situation? — Alejandra
The good news, Alejandra, is that there are lots of couples who build great international dating relationships, although it is definitely some work to make it successful.
But before you begin to put into place plans to build an international dating relationship, the two of you should have a conversation about whether you are both interested.
Here’s EXACTLY how to talk to him about this:
Choose a good time when the two of you are face-to-face (video chat works), and not under time deadlines or other stress. Then…
- Tell him some of the things you’ve enjoyed about the time you’ve spent together.
- Describe some of the things about him that you really like. Ways he makes you feel, qualities he has, skills or abilities you sincerely admire.
- Describe the kind of long-distance dating relationship that you can envision with him. And keep it lighthearted, like this: “I could see us starting to really get to know each other over the next few months. We could Skype and email, and maybe I’ll finally tell you how I got that funny scar on my ankle…”
- Then ask him: “So. What do you think? Would you like for us to get to know each other a little better?”
International dating is similar to a regular dating process, except that it does take more time, intention, and willingness to adapt. It often takes money (for travel) as well.
What makes an UNBREAKABLE international dating relationship?
Here are the things you’ll need to talk about and put into place, and be aware, that last one is the hardest. I know couples who have gotten second jobs just to pay for their inter-continental travel to see each other. But it works, it really does.
- Regular communication (phone, text, Skype, etc)
- Have good QUALITY interactions — learn to ask great questions, really listen. Get to know each other.
- Send love letters and care packages to strengthen the connection.
- Pursue some common hobbies together. Take a class, play a game, learn to speak a language, watch a concert together online. Train on your separate continents for a race or bike ride. Maybe you can even plan to travel to the same race.
- Schedule regular face-to-face visits. This requires planning, money, and intent!
7 out of 10 long-distance relationships fail ONLY because couples make simple mistakes that could have been easily corrected IF they took action!
Don’t let it happen to you!
Dr. Bob Grant’s book “Long-Distance Love” teaches you how to become personally stronger, and more emotionally content. He’ll show you exactly how to have the kind of international dating relationship you REALLY want.
- Long Distance Love teaches you techniques and tips to banish worry and bring wave after wave of fun and romance into your relationship.
- You’ll discover how to deal with a partner who doesn’t want to talk—and get them to open up to you!
- Learn the Seven-Day Plan to get you through ANY crisis. When you’re overwhelmed with what’s happening right now, use these steps to get your relationship back on track.
- Discover the #1 “Life Skill” that PREDICTS whether your love will survive a crisis. (Don’t worry if you don’t have this skill… it’s quick, simple, and easy to do.)
- Long-Distance Love takes on the super “thorny” relationship issues without flinching… and tackles them openly to get RESULTS.