Dating and Romance

International Dating: Can we make this relationship work?

international dating

Almost no one sets out to fall in love across continents, but guess what? Love happens. Here’s how to make the most of an international dating relationship…

Are you anxious about diving into an international dating relationship? Here’s how it really CAN work…

Hi Claire! I met this guy on a cruise and we had an amazing 4 nights together! Talked about everything, sex was gooood, we got along pretty well. We live on different continents, but we’ve been talking over FB and Snapchat, although our communication is less and less frequent.. I know he likes me, but he said the other day “The problem is you’re a million miles away.” We have talked over the phone, but it’s not frequent… I don’t know what to do! Should I just stop talking to him? Or what can I say to make him talk to me more often? How to know if he would be willing to have a long distance dating situation? — Alejandra

The good news, Alejandra, is that there are lots of couples who build great international dating relationships, although it is definitely some work to make it successful.

But before you begin to put into place plans to build an international dating relationship, the two of you should have a conversation about whether you are both interested.

Here’s EXACTLY how to talk to him about this:

Choose a good time when the two of you are face-to-face (video chat works), and not under time deadlines or other stress. Then…

  1. Tell him some of the things you’ve enjoyed about the time you’ve spent together.
  2. Describe some of the things about him that you really like. Ways he makes you feel, qualities he has, skills or abilities you sincerely admire.
  3. Describe the kind of long-distance dating relationship that you can envision with him. And keep it lighthearted, like this: “I could see us starting to really get to know each other over the next few months. We could Skype and email, and maybe I’ll finally tell you how I got that funny scar on my ankle…”
  4. Then ask him: “So. What do you think? Would you like for us to get to know each other a little better?”

International dating is similar to a regular dating process, except that it does take more time, intention, and willingness to adapt. It often takes money (for travel) as well.

What makes an UNBREAKABLE international dating relationship?

Here are the things you’ll need to talk about and put into place, and be aware, that last one is the hardest. I know couples who have gotten second jobs just to pay for their inter-continental travel to see each other. But it works, it really does.

  1. Regular communication (phone, text, Skype, etc)
  2. Have good QUALITY interactions — learn to ask great questions, really listen. Get to know each other.
  3. Send love letters and care packages to strengthen the connection.
  4. Pursue some common hobbies together. Take a class, play a game, learn to speak a language, watch a concert together online. Train on your separate continents for a race or bike ride. Maybe you can even plan to travel to the same race.
  5. Schedule regular face-to-face visits. This requires planning, money, and intent!

7 out of 10 long-distance relationships fail ONLY because couples make simple mistakes that could have been easily corrected IF they took action!

Don’t let it happen to you!

Dr. Bob Grant’s book “Long-Distance Love” teaches you how to become personally stronger, and more emotionally content. He’ll show you exactly how to have the kind of international dating relationship you REALLY want. 

–> Read More about WINNING at Long Distance Love HERE

  • Long Distance Love teaches you techniques and tips to banish worry and bring wave after wave of fun and romance into your relationship.
  • You’ll discover how to deal with a partner who doesn’t want to talk—and get them to open up to you!
  • Learn the Seven-Day Plan to get you through ANY crisis. When you’re overwhelmed with what’s happening right now, use these steps to get your relationship back on track.
  • Discover the #1 “Life Skill” that PREDICTS whether your love will survive a crisis. (Don’t worry if you don’t have this skill… it’s quick, simple, and easy to do.)
  • Long-Distance Love takes on the super “thorny” relationship issues without flinching… and tackles them openly to get RESULTS.

Don’t leave your international dating relationship to pure chance. You have the power to build the relationship you’re dreaming of!

3 comments on “International Dating: Can we make this relationship work?

  1. Hello Claire
    I have been seeing this guy for almost 3yrs now, I do love him, but the problem I have is that we only see each other once or twice a month. He travels a lot because of his job. He works for the government and often times when he’s here in Seattle, we only spend together like 4-5 hours then he lives. Our chemistry is great, he makes me happy and our sex is definitely addicting and great because as you can see with our situation . How do I approach him that I would not look like a desperate woman? What should I say to him? I am starting to wonder now because he hasn’t introduce me to his friends or family. I am thinking what kind of relationship I have? He recently admitted to me that I am his girlfriend, but I don’t know If he’s saying that for real. Clare, I am so afraid to get hurt. I am a divorced woman, my ex-husband cheated on me twice throughout our marriage. We were together for 23yrs and finally got the guts to divorced him because of Stosh. That’s the guy that I have been seeing and dating while going through divorce. At first our communication was great, but now the longer we’re together, less text and only answer my text or call me when he’s in Seattle. Clare, I don’t know what kind of relationship I am in, it’s lonely and sad and it’s hard to talk to him because when he’s with me he’s always in a rush to leave because he has to be in a plane (catch a flight) after and won’t see him again after2-3weeks. He hasn’t taken me to a dinner and we always meet at night? He never spent time or stay over? How can I get him to talk to me or encourage him to stay over instead of rushing all time? I come to think that this relationship isn’t healthy and start to wonder? There’s a lot of guy asking me out, but don’t know how to tell them? Clare, I need your advice because I am hurting deep down inside. I neex a man who deserves my love, who’s here with me not just for few hours. How do I approach himso he doesn’t think that I am a desperate that I am not pushing him away. I am falling for this guy, but I am hurting. I tried to stay away from him, but in the end, I am the one that suffer? I don’t know what to say? I wanted to ask him questions where when both of us not rushing. He promised me that when summer comes, we’ll have dinner together. The last time, he promised to have dinner with me, he got called in to work in Canada and I reacted and told him, that I don’t want to see him anymore. I guess for both of us, lack of communication. Should I stay on this relationship? How can I get him to talk to me and tell me how he truly feels about me? Please help me. Thank you!

    • Claire Casey

      Dear Liezl, I can’t think of a single reason why you should not date other men. The sex may be great, but it sounds to me like you would like to have a relationship to go with the sex, and you deserve that. I’m wondering what’s holding you back. Why not date other men, beautiful woman?

  2. By the way, the last time we have dinner together was about a year ago

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