It was a clumsy, sloppy, just plain bad wedding proposal. Now it will never be one of those picture perfect moments for you to treasure forever.
And you so wanted that!
What are you going to do about it now?
My fiancé did a terrible job of proposing. How can I get past this?
“Dear Claire, I have been with my fiancé for a little over 3 years now. He proposed a year ago. But the problem was he did not do anything I would have liked. From the beginning he has known that I was engaged before him. I explained that my ex did a bad job of proposing. And I let my fiancé know that the one thing that matters to me the most is the process of getting engaged and married. He knew what I have always dreamed of, which was my dream proposal and ring. I understand that it may not be exactly how I wanted it, but he did nothing close to what I told him I wanted. None of my family or kids were involved and they are an important part of my life. I was so upset and have tried to move past it. But I just can’t seem to. He says he will make up for it on the wedding. But I feel like he didn’t care what I wanted and how important it was to me. What should I do and how could I move past this?” —C.
Hey pretty mama. I know — you wanted a keepsake moment but you got a bad wedding proposal. I know you’re frustrated, but I have an idea for you.
First, let me say this…
The problem with wanting someone ELSE to behave a certain way is…
You just don’t have much control over it.
When I was young, birthdays weren’t a big deal in our family. My mother tried to always make me a cake, and sometimes there would be a gift (usually a book, which I loved), but that was about all.
So as a young married woman, I used to wish, wish, wish that my new husband would make a big deal over my birthday. He knew my past, he knew it was a big deal for me, but you know what?
It just wasn’t something he knew how to do, or was willing to put a lot of effort into.
And it took me a few years to figure out a great solution…
I put MYSELF in charge of my own parties and celebrations.
What a relief it was! No more guessing, no more hoping!
I planned and threw some marvelous parties for myself, and invited everyone I wanted to be there.
It was so much fun, and I wish I’d thought of it before I wasted several years wishing and hoping someone ELSE would be responsible for something that was important to ME.
A bad wedding proposal doesn’t mean you can’t create a beautiful NEW celebration with him!
I know you wanted HIM to think of everything, plan everything, include all the right people, and make it exactly like your dream proposal (or close).
Could be a special party, a special trip, anything! Make it the wedding if you want to.
But don’t make it ALL about you, and don’t make him read your mind.
Here’s an important truth…
It’s not the proposal, even a bad wedding proposal — or even the wedding! — that’s the most important thing here, it’s the relationship.
You know this already, of course.
But it’s easy to forget in the face of all the expectations that have built up in your heart over time.
A proposal might last a few minutes or hours. The wedding, same.
But you’re going to be creating a beautiful, challenging, difficult, worthwhile LIFE together. And that’s what deserves the great majority of your time and energy.
That’s what your dreams should focus on.
And here’s one more thing that may be holding you back
The negative impact of all these viral wedding proposal videos has raised the bar to a nearly ridiculous height.
These can make women feel like if they DON’T have a moment like THAT, then it’s just not worth it.
There’s a deeply damaging idea that women should just chuck the “lifetime together” if they can’t have a viral YouTube proposal or “surprise” groomsmen’s dance at the wedding reception.
It’s NOT a healthy trend when everyone is just trying to look good for Facebook, rather than focusing on building a life together.
Online media is not anywhere as important as the man standing next to you, loving you with his whole (imperfect) heart for the rest of your lives.
The best question(s) to ask yourself now…
The best question to ask yourself is NOT whether you got a good or bad wedding proposal.
The best questions are things like:
- Do we have similar foundational values in life?
- Does he make me a consistent priority in his life?
- Do I feel strong and good when we’re together?
- Can I trust him? Do his words match his deeds?
- Do the people most important to me like him?
- Does he want what’s best for me?
- Have we been through some difficult things together and come out better on the other side?
- Is he mature and willing to grow?
Focus on those things, beautiful heart, and things will fall into place for you both.
And if you need to REV UP some romance, and unlock his strong, POSITIVE emotions…
This is a very exciting, but also challenging time.
You’ve BOTH had some drama, some disappointment, and all kinds of turbulent emotions.
He knows you’re disappointed. He knows it was a bad wedding proposal.
He (or you) may feel lackluster, tired, or just have a much lower interest level than before all this lead-up to a wedding began.
Don’t let things slide into sadness and disappointment like that!
You CAN get the deep, passionate, steamy-hot ROMANCE going again!
You’re about to discover a little known, yet powerful secret, that jet-fuels loving desire and compels men to want (and NEED) to romance you more…!
No more feeling continually anxious for even small signs of romance (all the while your heart is screaming out for more love!).
Because you can discover the hidden loophole in a man’s mind that will flood his brain with a surge of addictive emotions… Including adoration… passion… and irresistible desire.
This is going to turn your experience of love on it’s head!
And it will be even better when he acts upon his rediscovered urges and treats you with the romance your heart is craving.
- Say goodbye to feeling discouraged.
- Say goodbye to going to sleep wishing and craving he would wrap his arms around you and hold you close…
- No more feeling ignored, embarrassed, or unattractive… wishing he would ROMANCE you, effortlessly, like he used to at the very beginning!
The weird and powerful mind secret you’re going to learn this is going to turn your man into the attentive, loving, thoughtful, heart-racing romance magnet you always craved that he would be!
I can’t wait for you to tell me how great it feels to be romanced again 🙂
PS: If you want intense love from a man you need to know how to unlock his hidden, strong emotions.
You can even turn a “formerly” (or “kinda”) interested man into a passionate romancer with YOU in his sights!