Just because you felt sparks on your first date (or first 3 dates) doesn’t mean the two of you are meant to be together forever. When you date more than one guy at a time you make much smarter decisions about the best candidate for commitment…
“I met this guy a month ago and we clicked and had sex on the first date. He told me he’s not good at communication via phone. I did the calling and texting all the time until 3 days ago we broke up because he said I was pushing him. He suggested we lay everything at rest and when we meet up all can be resolved. I like him so much. He prefers taking it slow since he has gone through a lot. Should I wait for him like he said or do I move on?” — Lucian
The biggest secret to finding the love of your life: Don’t commit too soon!
Since the two of you were together for such a short period of time, I’m guessing you did NOT both agree to be exclusive and not date any other people. So date him at a slower pace, and date other guys too. Don’t commit to one man too soon.
I know, sometimes when you meet a new man you get dizzy with how awesome the new relationship energy feels! Your body and heart are shouting for you to latch on to this guy and never let him go!
But the fresh fizz of a new relationship wears off as you get to know each other, and that’s good because it allows you to regain your balance and see things a bit more clearly.
Keeping your options open during the early stages of a relationship is deeply empowering, and has enormous benefits for BOTH of you…
1. When you date more than one guy at a time relationships can unfold organically and comfortably
Every person moves forward at a different pace. People have different expectations and goals for dating and the future, and different issues going on in their lives!
So rather than assuming your new boyfriend wants exactly what you want at the same time you want it, let things unfold gently. If you force or rush things you come across as desperate or needy.
2. When you date more than one guy at a time you figure out what you REALLY want and value in a man
The things you think you want in a man change a bit as you get to know what it’s like to date different kinds of guys. When you date more than one guy at a time you can compare and contrast.
Side benefit of knowing what you want? You start to become more confident in your dating (and your life), too!
3. When you date more than one guy at a time you find a good match FASTER
When you let one new relationship take up all your energy and time for months or years at a time, you may actually be BLOCKING a better match.
If what you are looking for is a long-term, committed relationship, then eventually you’ll find that same desire in one of the guys you’re dating.
It’s never in your best interest to commit to only one man without both of you agreeing explicitly that you’re interested in a long-term relationship, and you both think the match has potential to go the distance.
So until you find that one special guy, keep your heart open to the new possibilities all around you.
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