Should You Wait for Him or Move On?

Have you ever been marvelously in love with a man when suddenly, you began to wonder if the two of you have a future together?

The big problem with ASKING HIM if you should wait for him is…

If you ASK, and he’s UNSURE about the future of your relationship, you suddenly start to have a thousand doubts…

Should you wait for him? Or should you start the breakup process, so that eventually – after many tears, and more than a few new scars on your tender heart – you can move on with your life?

Ugh. Those moments are so incredibly painful.

Obsession Phrases

The good news is that you DON’T have to endure that uncertainty.

There are some SIMPLE THINGS you can DO to ensure you never have to endlessly wonder…

Sound crazy? Keep reading…

“I have been in an exclusive relationship for 10 months. We have had many difficult moments and our relationship has been growing a LOT. I’m sooo in love with him and our relationship is day by day better. We had a talk about marriage but he isn’t too sure about that. I have some doubt and some things that maybe scare me too.

I don’t know how much I have to wait until we make a decision about marriage or if I am wasting my time and I have to go out with another guys…I’m freaking out because I don’t wanna be hurt or disappointed.” – Isabela 

PS: Thanks a lot. Sorry for my bad English but I speak Spanish better. 😊

Hola bonita! Okay, that’s about the limit of my Spanish (I googled “How to say “Hello, pretty lady”), and I hope that makes you feel a little better, girlfriend. Your English is just fine!

Here’s how to begin figuring out whether or not to wait on him…

Normally I tell women NOT to wait on a man, but that’s not a hard and fast rule. However, if you are going to wait for him, then you should have the following things in place:

1. Know your timeline

In other words, you know how long you’re willing to invest in a man before you decide he is or isn’t serious (or marriage material, or ready for a wedding) and break up and move on.


2. Communicate that timeline with him

You need to be lovingly clear and let him know what that timeline is so that he can make his own decisions.

This is NOT about ultimatums, threats, or drawing a line in the sand. It’s simple, heartfelt, clear communication.

Try this:

“I love spending time with you. You are such an amazing man! And I hope in the next two years or so I’ll be waking up next to the man I love every morning, knowing he’s going to be there for me no matter what, knowing I’ll have the honor of loving and supporting him for the rest of our lives together. I’m wondering if that man will be you. What do you want your life to look like two years from now?”

GREAT RESOURCE: How to set and communicate your dating goals and timeline

The scary thing is not the waiting, it’s the fear that you’ll get an answer that you won’t like.

juicy words men want to hearSHOCKING WORDS Men are Dying to Hear... (You'll be surprised and delighted!)

Click HERE and Listen to This!

3. NOW. Ask yourself these 10 questions…

  1. Is he deeply attracted to you?
  2. Do the two of you have similar foundational values?
  3. Does he make you a priority in his life?
  4. Do you feel amazing and strong and wonderful when you’re around him?
  5. Do you trust him completely?
  6. Do the people most important to you like him?
  7. Is he financially solid (or working to get there)?
  8. Does he want what’s best for you?
  9. Have you successfully been through some difficult things together, and come out better for it?
  10. Is he mature and willing to grow?

If you answered yes to most or all these questions, you are NOT “wasting your time” with him right now. Choosing to wait for him is your smartest move.

If your man scored terribly on these 10 questions, then yes, it’s time to gently break things off so that you can both be free to move into your future. It will really be the healthiest thing for you. And you should go ahead and break free, because you don’t want to delay meeting the man who WILL love and treasure your heart like the rare gem it is…

Girlfriend, maybe it’s time for YOU to CRUSH the barriers that prevent him from COMMITTING to YOU…

obsessionMaybe it’s time for you to TAKE THE LEAD, here.

Shock him out of his apathy.

Make him hurry to capture your heart for GOOD, and make you HIS forever.

Click HERE to jump ahead and see how it’s done.

And NO, this isn’t about being some kind of sex siren (although he’ll definitely WANT you). It’s BIGGER and more powerful…

Scientific research has found CERTAIN PHRASES create feelings of euphoria in the human brain, much like addictive drugs. These words and phrases can be used to make a man experience attachment, love, and long-term devotion.

Kelsey Diamond spent 3 years researching these unique emotional trigger phrases,” and built them into a complete guidebook called Obsession Phrases.

Watch this video (Patrick does the video, but it’s about Kelsey’s work) to see how Kelsey helped hundreds of women at $300 an hour with one-on-one coaching, and then turned it into a course for much less than that.

→ Unusual words that leave men mesmerized, and make them NEED and WANT to EMOTIONALLY commit!

It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single, what your body looks like, or how old you are – if you want to make a man crave you, these “obsession phrases” work for everyone.

The Monogamy Awakener Phrase is most effective on the guy who just won’t commit. Dating any commitment phobes? This is the Phrase you want to use.

The Whiz-Bang Phrase instills in his mind just how valuable you are to him. Once he hears the whiz-bang phrase he will start to see you as the most important person in his life that he never wants to lose.

The Attraction Spinner Phrase is perfect for a woman who feels she is being used. If you think he only sees you as a friend or a fling, the Attraction Spinner Phrase will have him completely open up his heart and mind toward you.

→ Obsession phrases to make him crave commitment with you

You’ll also find phrases for use in situations like

• Getting your ex back (Love Cocktail Phrase)

• Making him fall in love (Subconscious Bonding Phrase)

• Keeping him from straying (Permanent Obsession Phrase)

Take a look at the video, try one of these phrases out tonight, and watch to see what happens!

xoxo Claire

23 comments on “Should You Wait for Him or Move On?

  1. Thanks for that amazing advice. For sure I recommend you to read CAPTURE HIS HEART.
    Thanks for everything!

  2. Pingback: [QUIZ] Is THIS The Man for Me? - Ask Claire Casey

  3. Hi there,

    Thanks for the checklist to check is this guy really meant for you.

    First of all my answer is yes to all.

    But the thing is we have just broke up a month ago. And i know he still have feeling for us.

    So i was just wondering should i tell him the timeline that i set to wait for him?

    Or is there any other suggestions that i can work on to get back with him ?


  4. Lisa LeRoy

    I have been waiting on a man I meet on match. Com that was 2 1/2 years ago to meet and spend time with him. Should I wait for him or not

    • Claire Casey

      I would say no, Lisa, especially if the relationship has gone nowhere in all that time. But YOU get to decide your own timeline, remember. Be sure to take another look at number 1 in the article, above, and the added link that talks about how to set and communicate your timeline. You got this! 🙂

  5. Hey! I’m in a similar boat. I met a man and I’m very sure he fell for me (that was 2 weeks ago or so). I didn’t give him the green light yet because he is tied to another woman. A friend of mine told me to forget this guy or only when he’s completely free should I consider him. I believe this is the right thing to do. Yet is it kinda wrong to hope for him? The thing is I’ll just keep on waiting like drinking tea or rather: observing. And i set an ultimatum to february. Without doing anything. Things have evolved like they have and i guess they’ll keep on evolving (though in not sure in which direction). Regards!
    Btw: this guy has been having a lot of emotional affairs lately (of which i were never a part of) which made me wonder initially and he kept on superficially falling in love with women. The first time i saw him i was sure he’s single because usually i have a gutfeeling for taken men 😉 oh my, why am i doing that (liking him) anyway?

    • Claire Casey

      Hi Vera, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. No, a man who is not available (i.e., he’s married or “committed” to someone else) is NOT a good choice for you.

      You can tell by the sheer number of shares and comments on this post that getting out of a situation like that is no fun, and is very heard on your heart:

      You are totally right in thinking that you should move on, and forget about this guy. And if he says something to you, you can always tell him “Let me know when you’re single…” 🙂

  6. My long time partner for 171/2 years had cheated on me with young women of 28 years old in our neighborhood, I decided to move out of state to see if our life will change, the result failer he end up cheating on me with his employee and I busted him. When Reveal all what he had done to me, his excuses he has alot and his denies everything. What I do and I have done its not enough

    • Claire Casey

      Oh, sweet heart, I wish I had an easy answer for you. I know you must be in tremendous pain.

      It sounds like there are more issues than just the cheating Me Me, and you need to get help on all of them. If possible, I would advise you to get professional help — someone who specializes in this area — and begin working on your relationship right away.

      You’ll also need the support and encouragement of your most trusted and emotionally healthy friends and mentors, so draw on that as well.

      I wouldn’t throw out a good 18-year relationship without fighting to see if you can fix it first.

      My very best to you, beautiful woman. xoxo

  7. Hi.i met this guy a month ago n we clicked n had sex on the first date.he told me he’s poor in communication via phone.i did the calling n texting all the time until 3days ago we broke up cuz he said I was pushing him.he suggest we lay everything at rest n when we meet up all can be resolved.i like him so much.he prefer taking it slow since he had gone through alot(didnt know what he meant).should I wait for him like he said or do I move on?

    • Claire Casey

      Hi Lucian, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

      Since the two of you were together for such a short period of time, I’m guessing you did not both agree to be exclusive and not date any other people. So date him at a slower pace, and date other guys too. Have some fun!

      The end result is that you get both: a slower get-to-know-you pace on your relationship with this guy, and also the ability to allow other new relationships to develop.

      If what you are looking for is a long-term, committed relationship, then eventually you’ll find that same desire in one of the guys you’re dating. But until you BOTH agree to stop dating others because you believe you have a great match and want to focus on it (and you need to have a real conversation about it together), you should be dating more than one guy. I call this “casual” dating, because there’s just no way in the world to know for certain whether a man is going to be your partner for life in less than a month.

      Here’s an article that you may find helpful:

      Hope this helps! xoxo


  8. Hello Claire
    I have been dating this guy for four months now, he was so kind, caring and loving, he made me feel proud because he took me places and always introduced me to his friends but a month ago I moved out if the country we promised to wait each other, he told me how he want us to end up as husband and wife but for the last three weeks he acting so distance and when I asked he said he’s busy with work, later on he told me that he will be offline for a while that he is having personal problems, I asked him to share and he said he will do so when he feel comfortable about on coming back online on Monday he told that he will share what was bothering him with me on August when he go for vacation, I texted him back and he never talked back till now and he’s always online should I just carry on with my life.. I am crying myself off I love him but am feeling that he’s kinda pushing me away
    What should I do please am confused?

    • Claire Casey

      Hi Sally. I know you’re feeling low and miserable, so I’m sending you my fiercest hugs.

      Now. The two of you were only dating for 4 months. Did you have an explicit conversation about becoming exclusive? Because 4 months — and knowing one of you is about to leave the country — is not much to base an exclusive relationship on. And if he’s already starting to shut down communications with you (even though you’ve been working to keep the lines open), that’s not a good sign that he’s in this for the long term.

      Why not consider some casual dating? You don’t have to be mean or “in your face” about it — do it for YOU, beautiful woman.

      On a last note, here are a couple of articles about maintaining a long distance relationship. It may help, but it may not have any effect at all for you at this stage. But it’s good information anyway…

      xoxo Claire

  9. Hi Claire,

    Thank you for your article. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 1 1/2 months and Ive developed feelings for him, and so does he. But it seems that his ex isn’t over the whole breakup and she recently just told him that she is 3 months pregnant. At this very moment, he told me that he has to be responsible and have to deal with this before going any further with me. And I don’t know how Long this is going to go on.

    And this is the point where I feel unimportant? I’ve given myself a timeline and I’m hoping it goes well. It’s just unfortunate how things have to end. Its just the picking up and letting this feeling go and start over. I’ve been single for about 1 1/2 years and I was ready to get into a serious relationship.

    • Claire Casey

      Hi Jesse — Sorry to hear of your deep, painful heart-bruise. And he’s right, he DOES need to figure out his situation (especially if there’s a baby involved) before going any further with you. It sucks, but it’s the right way to proceed.

      And here’s the thing: it’s a really good thing that he was being honest with you, rather than letting you find out later that he’s still involved with his ex, and about to be a daddy with her. Ugh. So, that’s a good thing in this awful situation. Another good thing is that you’re being smart about it, knowing your timeline, maintaining good communication.

      I guess I only have one small piece of advice for you (which you may not even need, smart sister!) and that is to go slowly. Don’t commit too soon to any guy. Date more than one man, and keep it casual until you both agree to be exclusive with each other.

      You got this, fierce soul. ? xoxo Claire

      • Thank you Claire for your comforting words and advice. I really needed it. To know that it is all going to be okay.

        Gonna try and embrace every moment right now and hope the right man comes along!


  10. I a m in a relationships for 3years now,recently we don’t chart not visiting each others for past three months.I can feel that this man is see someone

  11. Hi 🙂 I found this site while thinking about my relationship with a guy whom I met in a chatroom. He’s American and I’m Vietnamese and we haven’t met each other. We’d talked for like 6 months and I told him I had feelings for him too. But he said he was afraid to hurt me and to take any further with me. So I left. We met again in the chatroom after 4 months I blocked him. And we’ve been dating online for 2 months. He said he would come to see me summer next year and he would come again and bring me back there with him. He always talks about the future this time and says he really wants to be with me and wants me to give him time and wait for him. I keep saying goodbye everytime when I feel sad and lonely and I don’t really believe in that beautiful future he’s said. But my chest hurts and I still can’t go. It was like a test. I told him I was running out of money; he said ask others because he was pretty poor. Is that because he doesn’t really trust me or he doesn’t want to spend or give anything to me. I never asked him about money before. He said he would love to spoil me though. I know it’s funny but I would like to get an idea about this. I want to have dates and spend time with him not over Skype getting jealous of other couples. I don’t know if this will come to a happy ending, if I should try and fight for this. He never asked my number. Please tell me what I should do. I need your advice. Thank you 🙂

    • Claire Casey

      Hi there Nhi Bui. I would never advise someone to commit to a man until you’ve met him, spent time in person with him, and know him pretty well. I think your best bet is to date men where you are, and if the other relationship ends up getting going too, great. Then you have your pick of men. But it sounds like you are running the risk of committing way too soon. Take care of yourself, your life, and your heart, beautiful woman. {{{hugs}}} Claire

      • Thank you very much Ms. Claire. Yes sometimes I think it’s silly to date someone I’ve never met. I understand it may be different when we meet in person 🙁 I hoped too much and now I’m afraid to get disappointed. I don’t think I could wait for that long. I told him I wanted to stop. I can’t talk to someone and still keep talking to him. I couldn’t sleep last night and he’s always on my mind 🙁 But I think when I’m single and ready, someone might come. Thanks again Ms. Claire 🙂

  12. Hi there ,

    I known this guy for roughly 8 months . For the past 7 months I dated him . We both connected & had similarity in liking things . He was honest with a big heart . For the first time in my life I was being myself with a person without any hesitation. We had chemistry since the first date . He was persistent & listens to me whenever I wanted to let out my random thoughts . He came from a broken family & he stayed with his trusted relative . One of his relative however had dementia & he is holding a huge responsibility alone . He do not share much about it because he felt frustrated telling the same thing all over . I did not ask much unless he speaks out about it . I met him on a dating app & instantly we both click texting the whole entire day having less then 4 hours sleep for like 4 months . I felt like I was the most jovial person on earth whenever I am with him . He did say I love you at the 3 month while I told him on the 5 Month . We did open up about past relationships we both had . He past two relationships only lasted a year while I only had one relationship lasted for almost 3 years . Lately during the 7 month he became more busy and hardly had any time to just hangout with me or maybe even have a dinner . We did not argue much during the first 6 months just small misunderstandings but we able to talk it out and sort it out immediately without delaying it . After not seeing each other on the 7 month we did have frustrating arguments & he started not replying much on my texts . I was frustrated and I started to give him long messages on why he had any spare time to reply me . We both decided to have a phone call and talk it out . He told me he wanted to stop the entire dating process because he need to concentrate on his life and taking care of his relative . He wanted me to move on and do what I want in life . He told me I was a good person and if there is a good guy just go for it . I was stubborn I told him that I will wait for him no matter how long it takes . He told me to wait till end of next year but not to keep the hopes to high because he told me it might or might not break me into pieces . I told him I will wait & I agree not to have any meet ups for the moment for him to settle his life . I did drop some phone calls to check on him whether he is ok which I felt like I just wanted to hear him & at least he is ok . He doesn’t open up to me about his emotions because I remembered him telling me that he doesn’t like to have talks without a solution / empty talks . I felt like I open up to him bit more then him opening up to me . He was one of the guy whom I felt at times I had a lover and a best friend to be with me . As for now we agreed to be mutual friends . I am now feeling pretty sad & disappointed at times because I did question myself am I the same cycle of his past relationship only one year or less then no more dating . It is frustrating & I am a thinker who thinks a lot even though most of the people around me told me to be patience and strong in overcoming this might or might not happen in the future for now . I still do have the passion to still call and text him despite at times he will not reply but what if one day I decided to move on ? Will I ever get this kind person again to feel happy being myself ? I am still in a rocky thoughts for now . Thanks for reading this despite its quite long story .

    • Claire Casey

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Aly. You sound like a ferociously loving and loyal woman.

      But here’s the thing…

      He’s been clear. He wants to take a break and he’s told you to “move on,” and it sounds like he sincerely wishes the best for you.

      You’re facing a different issue than whether he wants to take a break in the relationship, and that issue doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with him.

      Your issue is that this break-up (and it IS a break up) has suddenly made you doubt yourself. Your attractiveness, your desirability…

      The monster you’re fighting is within yourself!

      So, a few thoughts:

      1. Taking a break from this relationship is not necessarily the end of the relationship. Anything can happen. However…

      2. Just because he is dealing with issues in his life doesn’t mean that you have to put your life on hold. Even he knows this. So keep casually dating other guys.

      3. It’s fine to text him once in a while, but don’t put heavy expectations on it.

      To answer your question “Will I ever find this kind of love again?”…

      If you mean “Will I fall in love only to have a guy leave me,” that could happen. Love is a risk.

      If you mean “Are there good men out there who will love me for the woman I am?” my answer is ABSOLUTELY YES.

      But ONLY if you allow yourself to be open to new possibilities, new relationships, and new love.

      Head up, heart open, beautiful woman! xoxo

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