Sometimes you come on too strong, and he pulls back. It happens. So now get his attention the RIGHT way… You’re nothing if not resourceful and adaptive. 🙂
I’ve shown him how hot he makes me. So why hasn’t he asked me out?
“Claire, how do I get this guy to ask me out!?
We had been talking for months. And I thought we were just friends bc he’s 8 years younger than I am. But then he invited me to stay for dinner after I grabbed something for him at the store and he kissed me with tongue… a few times. It was hot! I was so flustered and turned all red. I didn’t know what to think!
But then he backed off. So I backed off. Then he said he doesn’t sleep around and is not ready, then he kissed me again and started talking about going away together.. ugh! I’m so confused!
Yesterday he showed up at an event I planned with over 100 people there, he was right by my side the whole day. We got cozy in the water, and I wrapped my legs around him accidentally on purpose and then got freaked out about being too aggressive.
He told me he’s a breast man and what he would like to do to my breasts.. and even admitted to getting an erection when I talked about returning the favor.
But then NOTHING!! He didn’t invite me anywhere ask me out or make plans! It’s been months. I even gave him a chance to continue the flirtation by texting him to tell him how much fun I had with him, and particularly enjoyed our discussion about frontal massages.
And nothing. He’s worth the wait. He is. I think. But I feel like if he were that into me, he’d be doing more. He would at least ask me on an official date!!” — D.
What a rollercoaster you’ve been on! Makes you a little crazy-feeling, doesn’t it? Okay, fierce heart, I have a few thoughts for you.
You DID get his attention, but the two of you started this entire thing with sex, sex, sex.
Your first “more than friend” interactions were:
- Deep tongue-kissing
- A conversation about “sleeping around”
- More kissing
- A conversation about a weekend getaway (sex is what these weekends are about)
- Some sex-play in the pool
- A conversation about breasts and erections
- A conversation about frontal massages
When you START with that, it sends a very particular kind of message…
Leading with sex is often how bootie call relationships get started.
And that may be why he said early on that he “doesn’t sleep around” — he’s feeling that “let’s have sex” vibe (which feels GREAT, of course) but he’s also conflicted.
It could be that he really DOES want a relationship, rather than a bootie call with you.
But you know just as well as I do, sex is an insanely powerful thing, and plenty of people don’t resist the urges very well, even if they mean to. So…
He *might* think that by “date” you mean “hop in bed together.”
And that might be exactly what you want, but he may want more. Something more like a relationship, less like a one night stand.
I know, usually it’s the MEN who are pushing constantly for nookie, and the WOMEN are wishing for a relationship or something (ahem) deeper than just crazy toe-curling foreplay followed by burning up the sheets.
But sometimes the woman is leading with sex, and doesn’t realize that this approach might conflict with the formation of a solid relationship.
You should ask him out on a date, but first, you might need to do this…
There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t ask this guy out for a date.
Keep it light, keep it casual, and if I’m right about his hesitations, then you might also need to reassure him in a very subtle but clear way, that he’s not obligated to sleep with you and that you’re not expecting that.
Your best starting move is probably a public group outing — invite him to come along with you and some friends as you catch this new local band, or volunteer staffing a 5k race station, or something like that.
In addition, make it clear that you’ll meet him there, rather than riding together.
That way he understands that your intent is NOT to spend more time with deep tongue kisses or conversations about breasts and erections, but it’s in fact to get to know each other in a casual setting.
There’s a better way to get his attention and emotionally BOND with him (without getting naked).
You can truly get to know the REAL man.
The INNER guy.
You not only get his attention, you ALSO make yourself “stand out” from all the other women he knows and is secretly (or overtly) interested in.
Bob Grant is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and his bestselling programs have sold more than 100,000 copies in more than 25 countries.
He teaches women everywhere how to create an UNBREAKABLE emotional bond with a man.
Because even if he clearly finds you super sexy, something inside of him remains CAUTIOUS.
He may not even understand exactly WHY he feels cautious or uncertain, or what it is that he REALLY craves and desires.
There IS something you can do. You can unlock his bonding code.
It’s not hard, it doesn’t take months, and it’s NOT “one weird trick.”
The Bonding Code was uncovered by Bob Grant, who specializes in helping women who are dealing with
- men who are afraid to commit, or
- men who are anxious about taking that first real step on the way to a relationship.
Bob has helped thousands of women like you get his attention AND get their man to take that first SERIOUS relationship step (all while thinking it was his own idea).
You’ll be surprised at how easy it is.
His video gives you the basics, and his program is amazing.
PS: According to public records Ashley Madison did over $150 MILLION in 2014 by telling men: “Life is short. Have an affair.” Ugh.
The Bonding Code is a pure, beautiful ANTIDOTE to that Ashley Madison message.
Then you need this, right now.