How do you get his commitment? Everything else is going GREAT, but you’re wishing you could get this one significant step from him…
“I love our relationship, but he doesn’t want to move in or marry…”
“Hi Claire – I am 60 and my man is 63. We have been going out together for almost 5 years but live 2 hours apart (both had previous marriages, children and relationships).
He declared that he does not want to marry again, and also says he does not want to live together – wants his independence.
However he did once refer to marriage (a friend is licensed to marry people in the states) and my man said maybe he could marry us if we went to the States. He didn’t ask me if I would actually marry him. Then he also talks about putting me on his flat tenancy so I would have secure housing forever (I have my own place).
We have an enjoyable life – travel, outings, friends, see each other overnight each week and some weekends. It hasn’t always been smooth and we have come close a few times to splitting up – mostly on his part I have to say, over his stress usually.
I am however missing that commitment and would like a ring as a declaration of his commitment even if we don’t marry or even live together full time yet.
I often consider ending the relationship and looking for someone who will show their commitment but I do love him, fancy him and enjoy my life – sex and all! Am I being over-sensitive?” — K.
Beautiful woman, you deserve to be seen and heard. And you’re allowed to want the things you want! And I think you can get his commitment.
You need to talk with him, and I’m going to give you a clear script to use, and a couple of important notes.
But before I get to your script, I think I can explain the mixed messages you’re getting from him.
You mentioned the fact that he told you he doesn’t want to live together OR get married, but then he mentioned getting married to you…
Here’s why you’re getting the mixed messages.
The reason he mentioned marriage, or putting you on his flat tenancy, is that he KNOWS you want commitment.
He’s stringing you along.
He may not be trying to be intentionally cruel, but he’s saying those things to keep you from giving up and moving on.
The truth is that he has EVERYTHING he wants in this relationship already.
Seeing each other regularly, enjoying companionship, and great sex aren’t a bad thing. But if you want to get his commitment…
It’s up to you to make a big decision…
If not getting the ring, the marriage, and the moving in together are absolute dealbreakers for you, then you will have to talk to him.
“Babe, it’s been an incredible 5 years together, and I have loved our relationship. [Name some things that come to mind.]
But it’s still my dream to be able to wake up every day to a husband who loves me as much as I love him. To grow deeper and better together. To have the kind of long-term, clear commitment I know I can count on. I would like more than anything to be married to the man of my dreams.
I don’t want to lose what you and I have, but I do want us to talk about this, because I’m thinking about dating other men and finding a life partner who wants the same things I want.
Can you tell me what you envision when you think about our future together?”
That does NOT mean you need to rush out and start dating.
It just means you need to change your mindset to leave yourself open to being with someone else.
If he really does love you, you will get his commitment because he’ll realize he’s in danger of losing someone very precious to him.
Know your timeline!
Because if you don’t, he can easily say “Sure, no problem,” and keep putting it off indefinitely.
If you give yourself completely to a man (by being exclusive), then he has no real urgency to commit to you. He has no fear of loss, and so he’ll just take his sweet time and keep promising you he’ll commit SOMEDAY when he’s ready.
It doesn’t HAVE to be difficult to get his commitment…
There is a deep well of women’s wisdom that is simple, clear, and EFFECTIVE in building long-term, committed relationships, and this exclusive women’s relationship coach wants to share it with you.
Give her a chance to tell you about what she learned growing up, and why it has helped her overcome every single obstacle most women face when trying to build healthy, deeply committed relationships with men…
- A little-known “mind virus” that’s actually prevents him from committing to you. You’ll discover how to fix this little “mental virus” in 30 seconds so you can experience more happiness and fulfillment with your man.
- The single biggest mistake women make when communicating with their man that instantly makes him want to avoid her. If he’s become cold and distant, it’s most likely because of this.
- The #1 criteria men use to decide if you’re “long term relationship material” or just good for short-term sex. Hint: it’s not at all what you think, and has nothing to do with sex. Most women around the world were taught the exact opposite of what really works.
- How to determine if you’re giving too much in the relationship and not receiving enough. It could be because you were GIVING him the WRONG things. Learn the one thing you must give him that actually compels him to want to give you WAY more in return.
- And so much more…
If you have ever asked yourself, “Why won’t he COMMIT to me?”
You should listen to this… (and you can READ if you prefer that to listening)
No more wondering why the GOOD MEN are not pursuing you or showing up in your dating life….
No more trying to constantly “test the waters” and see if he’s commitment material.
You’ve never heard anything like this before…
PS: If you give yourself completely to a man (by being exclusive), then he has no real urgency to commit to you.
This makes it so EASY to get his commitment, and here’s why. Instead of the pressure to commit coming from you, he’ll put the pressure on himself.
It works like magic!