Do you keep picking the WRONG men for you?
The slippery part of this is that we don’t KNOW they’re the wrong men until we’re in too deep, right?
Sigh. I know, shining heart.
Am I picking the wrong men for me? Again!?
“Claire, I’m getting divorced after 25 yrs. While I went through a life-or-death surgery he drifted away. He was also verbally abusive and controlling, so I eventually chose to move forward in life without him.
Since then I’ve fallen for two men, one married and one younger and very career-driven. They both can make me feel special but one will only do it behind closed doors. The other tells me I fit in his arms in every way, calls or texts just because, wakes up at 3am and says come see me.
But one day the young boyfriend said (over text!) he’s done, that he needs to focus on his goals of making enough money to retire at 40, then travel. I wasn’t standing in his way or being needy or clingy.
The married man won’t commit. The young boyfriend does all the sweet things, understands me, and yet doesn’t want to keep me.
I feel like I want to give up on love. I feel depressed, like I’m not enough for a man to want to keep as his own.” — T.
You’ve been down this road before, fierce mama. And that’s EXACTLY what’s working against you.
Picking the wrong men is a relationship pattern that is hard to break.
You KNOW what it’s like to stick with a man even when he treats you badly. The fact that you were so long with a partner who failed you over and over again has got you in a rut.
If you’ve chosen a man who wasn’t good for you before, you tend to go for that type again, NOT because you aren’t a smart, thoughtful woman, but because it feels familiar.
It’s just too easy to mistake the feeling of “familiar” for the feeling of “right.”
And your own loving nature may be working AGAINST you…
Sometimes women keep picking the wrong men because they feel determined to build positive change… But they take it too far.
It’s like there’s something in your strong, relentless mind that says, “I am capable of helping this man make better choices. I’m understanding and flexible. I don’t demand perfection. I can help him grow into a better partner, and I’m in it for the long term.”
It’s not really “partnership,” it’s martyrdom, and you deserve so much more than that.
And then there’s that sneaking, crippling FEAR…
When you are fresh out of a painful relationship, it’s not hard to look back and think: “Oh no. I just wasted the last ___ years of my life. Time is no longer on my side. Will I be hurt, heartbroken, and alone FOREVER?”
You gotta fight this one with everything you have, warrior woman.
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Ever wonder WHERE all the good men have gone? If you’re tired of casual relationships and want real LOVE and PARTNERSHIP, you gotta see this…
I promise you, there’s no “lifetime limit” to finding love.
The future is as wide as a sparkling turquoise sea. Here’s how to get ready to answer the call of your beautiful future life…
Here’s how to break the painful pattern of picking the wrong men and discover something MUCH better for you…
Take a quick look at the following 4 steps. It’s not too much to remember! And these simple things are going to set you on an entirely NEW course for love…
1. Do your healing work.
You want to choose a partner from a place of personal strength, and you are at a disadvantage when you’re in the middle of a deeply painful divorce or break-up.
You do see the problems from the relationship you were in, but they are still breaking your heart. You need a little more time for intentional recovery, and you need to do some healing work.
2. Learn to be strong and happy WITHOUT a man in your life.
You really WILL benefit from learning to live confidently and happily as a single person before diving back into a relationship again.
So give yourself that gift. (Because it has so many sparkles on it!)
3. And more than anything else, get clear on the biggest relationship red flags.
Part of why you’re picking the wrong men is because you aren’t paying close attention to things that are red flags.
Like the fact that a man is married, and therefore not fully available for you.
Or the fact that a man is so career-driven that he, too, is not fully available for you.
Men who are loyal, predictable, trustworthy, and kind can sometimes appear “boring” or “not as exciting” as the less-reliable parters — the ones who are likely to treat you badly.
The “bad boys,” married men, overgrown frat boys, and players all promise excitement!! Challenge!! ROMANCE!
And they usually deliver. For a while.
Then they’re gone, or they commit some awful breach against your boundaries and you suddenly see them for who they really are.
4. When you’re ready, enter the dating field gently, date widely, and keep your expectations LIGHT at first…
As you “test the waters” with a handful of men, ask yourself if you’re repeating old patterns or choosing what’s TRULY best for YOU.
Attracting the RIGHT man into your life doesn’t have to be difficult (or impossible)…
Luba Evans grew up in Russia, and she was not “classically beautiful” (her words). And yet, she has learned some things in Russia that women in other parts of the world seem to have completely missed.
Luba says: “In Russia, if you’re a single mom and over 28… forget it. Finding a guy to marry you is incredibly difficult, especially if you looked like me.
But guess what? Dating for me ended up being a piece of cake for one big reason. I discovered that women in America have been misled about what works with men…
Despite not being ‘classically beautiful’ like so many Russian women, I was easily able to attract, catch, and keep men who were in high demand.”
Once she came to America and began using these same simple techniques she’d used in Russia, she was shocked at how unbelievably easy it was.
If you want to go straight to the committed, loving communion you’ve been longing for, you should listen to what she has to share.
PS: You know as well as I do that if you don’t take action, you will not get the result. It’s like anything else in life, if you don’t take the first step, you’ll never reach your destination.
You got this, beautiful!
PPS: I already know someone will ask what Luba looks like (because she talks about how she’s not “beautiful.” So fyi, her photo is a part of her story. You can be the judge 🙂