It can be a challenge to get him to commit…
If he can date you and sleep with you without committing to a relationship, he’s going to do that for as long as humanly possible.
BUT: I’m sure you’ve also heard of situations that are just the opposite… Where a man who is normally afraid of commitment gladly gives himself to a particular woman. And he does it without even hesitating!
What’s going on here?
“Claire, 4 years ago I dated a guy I fell in love with but he ended up dumping me, giving the reason that I was ‘too perfect’ for him and he needed to ‘explore life alone.’
After a few weeks he started dating another girl, then started cheating on her until he broke it off.
He and I have been friends ever since our break up, and now he’s asking me back. Should I give him a chance or refuse coz he had put me in the shadow and now mysteriously wants me again?” — Eileen
Hi Eileen; I have a quick few thoughts for you.
First of all, I think he’s treating you as a booty call.
He wants to “date” (but really this is probably about sex, right?) you ONLY until someone else comes along that he’d like to date or jump in bed with.
He wants a steady supply, so when his last relationship ended, he found that you were convenient.
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Does your man “run hot and cold”? It’s probably because of this… Find out what Russian women learn from their mothers about how to get a man to COMMIT.
If you want the kind of relationship he’s offering (which is solely centered around what HE wants), then sure, try again with him.
But if you want something DIFFERENT, if you want to get him to commit, then you need to change your approach.
If you want to get him to COMMIT, do this…
You have to become a “moving target.”
I’ll explain more in a second, but first let me say this:
A LOT of women make their biggest mistake early on, committing to a man without ever having a conversation about it.
They’ll just ASSUME (ugh, never do this!!) that he’s not seeing anyone else.
Never agree to be exclusive with a man until he commits, sweet soul, just don’t.
That means you stay OPEN to dating other men (and make sure he knows that) until he claims you as his one-and-only.
Men are a LOT like CATS… (this is bizarre, and true)
We’ve all heard “men are like dogs.”
But when you are trying to get him to commit, a man is more like a cat trying to catch a mouse.
Here’s what I mean.
Imagine if the mouse walked up to the cat and said, “So when are you going to try and catch me, huh? I’m waiting. Hurry up please.”
He’d quickly get bored and walked away, right?
But what happens when the mouse starts moving away in the other direction?
Almost as if to say, “Catch me if you can!”
That’s right… He goes crazy trying to catch that mouse!
That’s what I mean by the “moving target” statement I made earlier. AND…
It’s the SAME with relationships!
If you give yourself completely to a man (by being exclusive), then he has no real urgency to commit to you.
He has no fear of loss, and so he’ll just take his sweet time and keep promising you he’ll commit SOMEDAY when he’s ready.
You and I both know that “someday” never comes. You will never get him to commit that way.
Here’s exactly what you should SAY and DO instead.
The next time you speak with him, just say this:
“Honey, I just want you to know that I’m really happy being with you… AND I also have to say that I can’t continue dating you exclusively anymore. We can still be together, just not exclusively anymore.”
His heart will probably stop, and he’ll ask why.
“Well what I want is a committed relationship, and I don’t know if that’s what you want with me. I want to give all of myself to someone, and if that’s not you then I have to keep stay open to meeting someone else.”
He’ll probably be in shock for the first minute, but you have to stand your ground…
Otherwise it’s all for nothing.
Sometimes just saying this is enough to make him commit to you right there, and sometimes it takes a few days for him to come around.
That does NOT mean you need to rush out and start dating.
It just means you need to change your mindset to leave yourself open to being with someone else.
If he really does like you, then he’ll realize he’s in danger of losing someone very precious to him.
This makes it very easy for him to commit to you, and here’s why.
Instead of the pressure to commit coming from you, he’ll put the pressure on HIMSELF.
Read that statement again, because girlfriend, it’s HUGE.
It works like magic!
It’s not YOUR job to get him to commit, it’s his. You just have to clear the way for it to happen.
If you get nothing else from this, please remember:
He must put the pressure on HIMSELF to commit.
If the pressure comes from YOU, it will never work.
By the way, this tip comes from an amazing Russian woman named Luba Evans.
This comes from her book called “The Law of Devotion.”
And you can take this and completely change the relationship you’re in right now.
Luba knows a ton of other powerful ways to understand men and commitment and relationships.
Almost every woman from Russia learns this from their mom, but for some reason we were never taught how it works?!
Luba shares a LOT of insights that work, across the board, for women. No matter where you live or what your current relationship status is.
- No more wondering why he’s not pursuing you…
- No more trying to “test the waters” and see if he’s ready to commit.
- And no more struggling with the agony of not knowing if he’s truly yours.
And no, it has nothing to do with having an accent. 😀
Go ahead and check it out now while it’s fresh in your mind!
This Russian dating coach who has amazing insights that women in other parts of the world somehow don’t learn growing up. Check her out here:
Do it while you’re thinking about it, beautiful! Because you know and I know that “later” almost never works out…