So you have SOME of the pieces of a solid relationship. But if you want to “have it all,” this is something you should be thinking about…
“Claire, I’ve been dating this man for 6 years; we are both in our 60s and are both dating other people.
He has a male friend (also in his 60s) who has never been married and who does nothing but talk about how marriage is the worst thing you can do. He has convinced my friend that he needs to have three women at all times in case one dumps him.
I have NO PROBLEM getting dates & if I just want a booty call I can have just that. Yet whenever I date I compare everyone to the one guy who never will marry, live together or have only one girlfriend.
What can I do to change him into the kind of man who wants to be with only me?” — D.
Hey there, D.
Before I explain what’s going on here, let me challenge you, me, and everyone reading this to remember how amazingly GOOD we have it.
I know, we’ve all suffered heartbreak, we all know danger and struggle. But here we are, on nice computers, many of us receiving a paycheck, and we have clean water and wonderful food. We are not hunted, or under fire, or torn routinely from the ones we love.
So much to celebrate, right?
I know you want to have it all with this special guy, and there really IS a way to go deeper with him…
Now. It’s not surprising that in the early stages of any relationship a man (or woman!) might wonder…Will this one cheat on me? Will this one leave me broken and hurting?
Will I FINALLY find true, lasting love? Or should I just spend the next five years of my dating life huddled with a blanket on my couch, binge-watching The Great British Bake-Off?
Your boyfriend clearly has some serious fears about committing to one woman because of this anxiety-plagued friend of his.
He wants to have it all with you — OH, and also two backup women.
But he’s just afraid, because he don’t YET have enough TRUST.
The BEST-EVER way to defeat your boyfriend’s deep FEAR is by giving LOVE and building TRUST…
The plain truth is that you CAN’T just TELL him that you won’t leave. He has to trust you.
And trust takes time and intention to build.
You have to prove it to be true, over time.
Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, talks about 5 very specific ways you can build trust. Here’s a quiz I’ve built for you around his 5 ways…
Here’s a TRUST QUIZ for you to “rate” your current level of trust with your boyfriend.
(Psst: If you truly want to “have it all,” THIS will reveal WHAT specific AREAS you both could be working on!)
- True or False: My boyfriend seeks to understand before he tries to be understood
- True or False: My boyfriend’s actions match his words and beliefs 95-100% of the time. When he says he will do something, I know he will. AND, his actions are in line with his beliefs.
- True or False: My boyfriend knows his own goals and boundaries, and is very clear in his expectations of me, and of others.
- True or False: My boyfriend does the “little things.” He knows what acts of love and kindness fill the my emotional bank account, and he does them daily.
- True or False: My boyfriend will apologize when he screws up, and he always does his best to make it right.
Now, FLIP the QUIZ and have your boyfriend “rate” YOU on trust levels…
Now you should have some really powerful areas of your relationship that you could talk about and work on together.
Once you both have some time to build trust, you can open a conversation about exclusivity, and before you know it, you may just have it all with your man.
You don’t need a “Witch Doctor for Love,” but you should try THIS…
Back when I lived in a super “trendy” city, I would always see these funny little ads on the back of the newspaper advertising the services of a “Witch Doctor for LOVE.”
I thought that was super goofy, BUT…
I absolutely DO “get” the desire to have someone
- slip you a darling little love charm,
- help you figure out the mysterious secret love potion, or
- give you a sparkling sweep of the fairy godmother wand…
…So that you can find and bind the deep, sweet, lasting love of a man to the very core of your soul.
This is as close to a magic love potion as I’ve ever seen. 😊
Amy North has this secret “love spell” that consumes a man’s mind with thoughts of obsession, desire, and commitment…
Her “love spell” gives you the power to make almost any man (even the guy that hates your GUTS right now… yes him), feel a furious, undeniable attraction for you…
It’s so weirdly powerful that you’ll be able to send CHILLS up a man’s spine on command… Here’s her brand-new video about it:
The moment you start using this little spell, don’t be surprised if the one special man you’ve been eyeing becomes strangely drawn to you (for reasons he can’t explain)…
Don’t be surprised if your cold and distant boyfriend becomes more attentive, more caring, and more in-love with you than ever before…
Seriously, thousands of women have already used this “spell” and the results have been devastating. Just read what Emily C. from Colorado said…
“I used this subtle tactic that Amy talked about in the video…I used it on my co-worker just like a couple months ago, and now he is SO into me…we’ve been dating for a few weeks now and all my friends are so jealous. I can’t believe it worked!”
Be like Emily. Watch that video, you mysterious, beautiful love-siren. 🙂
PS: I totally loved the end of the video. (You’ll never believe what happens.)