“I’ve been dating this guy for 8 months. But one of his relatives has dementia & he is holding a huge responsibility alone. Lately he became more busy and hardly had any time for me. He told me he wanted to stop dating because he needs to concentrate on his life and taking care of his relative. He wants me to move on and do what I want in life.
I was stubborn and I told him that I will wait for him no matter how long it takes. He told me to wait till end of next year but not to keep my hopes too high.
I still do have the passion to still call and text him despite at times he will not reply but what if one day I decide to move on? Will I ever get this kind person again?” — Aly
Thanks for writing, Aly. You sound like a ferociously loving and loyal woman. I can tell you wish you could help him with the burden he’s carrying; I bet you make a wonderful and supportive friend to anyone in your circle.
But here’s the thing…
He’s been clear. He wants to take a break and he’s told you to “move on,” and it sounds like he sincerely wishes the best for you.
Of course, he could be lying in order to shake you off (because he’s changed his mind, or doesn’t want to say he’s no longer interested in you), but the truth is that just doesn’t matter.
You’re facing a different issue than whether he wants to take a break in the relationship, and that issue doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with him.
Your issue is that this break-up (and it IS a break up) has suddenly made you doubt yourself.
It’s made you doubt your desirability.
It’s made you doubt your attractiveness.
It’s made you wonder if you are the kind of woman a good man would love.
He Doesn’t REALLY Want the “Perfect Woman.”
He Wants These 3 Things from You Instead.
You’re fighting a monster within yourself, star sister.
And I have a few monster-fighting techniques that will help you slay the beast and get back on track for the life you dream of building…
1. The first thing you need to know is that taking a break from this relationship is not necessarily the end of the relationship.
Anything can happen. He may adjust to the weight of caring for his loved one, or he may find help, or he may get through a rough period in his life and when he surfaces, he could come looking for you.
However… (And you know this next part, beautiful…)
2. Just because he is dealing with issues in his life doesn’t mean that you have to put your life on hold.
In fact, you really shouldn’t, and even he knows this.
So keep casually dating other guys. You don’t have to look at dating as if any guy you go to coffee with is a rank betrayal of a love you once shared with another man.
It’s just dating!
3. AND you can absolutely check in once in a while with your former boyfriend.
After all, you care about him and are interested in his welfare.
Just don’t hang any heavy expectations on your interactions with him. If he doesn’t respond to a text, that’s okay. You need to give him that option.
But meanwhile, your life goes on, either with or without him. You deserve that!
To answer your question “Will I ever find this kind of love again?” I can tell you THREE things…
- If you mean “Will I fall in love only to have a guy leave me,” that could happen. Love is a risk.
- If you mean “Are there good men out there who will love me for the woman I am?” my answer is ABSOLUTELY YES.
- But ONLY if you allow yourself to be open to new possibilities, new relationships, and new love.
Don’t put a stop to your life “just in case” your ex changes his mind. You are worth so, so much more.
What makes him BEG to be with you…
If you’ve been through a breakup recently, or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day…
Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.
And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message…
It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you —
And even begging to be with you.
Here’s what I’m talking about: