He wants to be friends, but YOU want something with a deeper future…
“Hi Claire, I have been in a somewhat confusing relationship now for about 6 months. We have not officially dated, and have always said we’re friends. It just feels like we can never get things right and be together. I get frustrated because I’d like more commitment.
There’s always a reason…
- He is very stressed and feels like he has no mental space to give a relationship.
- He says he’s hurt women in the past and he doesn’t want to hurt me.
- He does not want to date me unless he’s sure he can see us together in the end.
- He has been alone for a long time and his past couple of relationships have not lasted.
- He says he tends to self-sabotage his relationships.
He’s asked that we continue to be friends (we do not sleep together) and see how the seed we’ve planted grows. He’s not willing to move forward, but also doesn’t want to let go. I am slowly losing my mind here.” — Lacy
Hi Lacy — it sounds to me like you are very into him, but he’s not interested in quite the same type and level of relationship as you are.
You want a boyfriend, and he just wants a friend (and only on HIS terms). Darling, he’s completely emotionally unavailable. Ugh, that hurts, I know. And it’s not something you were unaware of. SO.
You have some choices…
1. Stop being his friend
Being his “friend” only brings you pain. So stop!
And that will free you up to try the item below (which could TOTALLY change things for you, either with or without him):
2. Date other guys
Not only should you stop being his friend, you need to be dating, gorgeous!
There are guys out there who will be very interested in taking things further with you. But you’ll never find them unless you are looking.
3. You can consider being his CASUAL friend…
People move along in relationships at different speeds. That’s fine.
If you feel like you can’t completely stop being his friend, maintain a casual relationship, while still looking for the man who will give you his whole heart, rather than just a tiny corner of it.
Just be careful, if you are still friends, to stop investing so much hope in him. Desperation isn’t attractive.
4. If you can’t stop being his friend, DON’T make this classic mistake…
Whatever you do, you can’t be constantly available to him. He needs to know your status has changed, and that he can’t have everything HE wants while you get nothing.
Get back on the track of your dreams for life! Not only should you be dating, you should be investing JUST as much in your passions, your work, and your friends as you used to invest in him.
Love yourself more than you love him, darling.
And here’s a little help from my sweet girlfriend Mimi, for when you hit the dating world like a sparkling, irresistible storm…
Bring Out Your Natural Flirt, Even If You Have No Idea What To Say Or Do!
There are times when you just need THE PERFECT WORDS TO SAY… TO ANYTHING HE SAYS TO YOU?
Flirting is what makes love exciting – whether you’re married or single.
That makes it VERY important. Maybe it’s the most important lovelife skill you’ll ever need. When you know how to flirt, EVERYTHING else is a LOT easier.
When you are a true flirt at heart, you can have the love life of your dreams – for the rest of your life. It’s absolutely true. When you truly know how to “flirt with men,” you hold in your hands the key to his heart…
AND the key to the hearts of all the OTHER men who WISH they were in your world!
PS: If you try this out, you may find yourself in the enviable position of being able to choose between TWO MEN.
Have fun, girlfriend!