Dating and Romance

How to Keep Jealousy of His Ex From Wrecking Your Life

You try not to show it, but whenever you think of his ex, you feel a little queasy. Even outright angry. Worried. Jealous…

And it’s ridiculous; he’s not even with her any more. He loves YOU. Doesn’t he? Aargh. Sometimes you’re not completely sure.

Don’t you wish you could stop your feelings from being yanked around this way?

Guess what? You can.

Here are 5 steps to help you figure out where your jealousy is REALLY coming from, and what you should do to get your life back under your own control…

1. Do an honest evaluation of your current relationship

Your jealousy radar goes off because it’s telling you that there’s something wrong; your job is to figure out where the “wrong” is coming from so that you can make a decision about how to fix it.

Sometimes the issue is with him; sometimes it’s with you.

jealous womanTake an honest look at your fears and suspicions.

  • Is there secretive behavior going on that makes you think he may still be with her even though he said he was exclusively committed to you?
  • Has he recently been through some dramatic behavior changes (ie, losing weight, discovering new tastes and preferences, fresh appearance) that you can’t find an explanation for?
  • Has there been a radical change in your sexual relationship?

If so, you may need to consider whether he’s cheating with his ex. In that case, say “thank you” to your jealousy radar and start dealing directly with the bigger issue.

Alternatively, are you consistently one of his top priorities?

  • Does he build you up, value your opinion, and want what’s best for you?
  • Does he keep his promises?
  • Do you feel awesome when you’re with him?

If so, it’s definitely worth taking the time to figure out how to get this jealousy monkey off your back.

MORE: Read “Will We Have a Future Together?” 2 Ways to Know

2. Tell him how it makes you feel (and remind him of what he has in you)

Frequently you experience jealousy because he mentions her in conversations, even though he’s promised you that it’s over between them. This usually just requires a non-dramatic conversation.

  • Start by telling him how important he is to you, and how much you value your relationship.
  • Then explain that it’s also a bit painful to hear about his ex every time the two of you are together.
  • Tell him you understand how that relationship blew up in his face, and that he’s still trying to deal with the fallout, but that it’s more important than ever to let the past be the past, because he has an amazing, sexy, and brilliant woman sitting right in his lap (heh heh) and you hope he will pay full attention to you.

That works pretty well. 🙂

MORE: Read “How to Awaken Your Sensual Inner Tigress

3. Reduce your self-doubt

romantic breakfastMOST jealousy is about self-doubt, so the very best way to defeat it is to work on your own self-esteem; you gotta really start to love and value yourself.

Your man has an incredible catch in you! It’s a wonder you were willing to stop dating all those other boys so that just one man could enjoy all that you have to offer…

  • Don’t compare yourself to her
  • Cultivate a sense of your own worth and beauty.
  • Focus on your own accomplishments and uniqueness.
  • Follow your passions and take care of yourself.

The more you love and are secure in yourself, the easier it will be for you to identify and let him know when he’s out of line.

MORE: Read “How to Let a Tsunami of Unconditional Love Into Your Life”

4. Set boundaries

Every woman is different. How much contact (texting, calling, working with, etc.) with an ex is too much?

If you’re recovering from an affair, you may want a “no contact” rule.

But if you’re simply dealing with the women he dated before he found you, you may want to be more flexible.

If you can find a very specific contact-related guideline that would help calm your feelings of jealousy, communicate that with him!

He may not even be aware that simply pulling her out of his Google + circle would make you feel better.

MORE: Sign up now and take the Love Number Quiz!

5. Give him time to win your trust

Take into consideration how long the two of you have been together, because you do need enough time with your man in order to start to feel safe and trust him. And what HE does has an impact on that, of course!

Let him work to win your trust, and give him time to do it.

#1 way to make a man faithful

Nothing makes you feel LESS secure than being with a man who is “wishy-washy” about his feelings for you, who can’t seem to commit himself 100% to you, and the relationship…

And even if he SAYS he’s fully committed to you and faithful, can you really be sure that his devotion to you will last? That it will stand the test of time?

–> Faithful FOREVER (how to trigger his commitment instinct)

This is why I was blown away when I learned about a scientific study that proved it IS possible to make a man absolutely monogamous to you. And not just physically, but also emotionally…

happy coupleSo that the thought of ever being with another woman actually disgusts him…and merely SEEING you fills him with joy, and send shivers of desire and delight up his spine…

And when you are apart, he will miss you, crave you, and even OBSESS about you like a love-struck teenager.

The secret I’m about to show you really is THAT powerful…

Watch this now and you’ll learn a simple, scientifically proven secret that has the power to make ANY man instantly change his ways and shower you with the love, affection and loyalty that you want and deserve.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re looking for love, or whether you THINK you’ve found “the one…”

–> Discover the “Monogamy Method”

You owe it to yourself to learn this unusual, science-backed “monogamy method.” It only takes a few minutes, and it’s like knowing how to flip a switch in a man’s mind, and heart, to make him forever faithful to YOU…

xoxo Claire

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