Is he saying I love you too soon?
You met online and are in the process of those first few texts when all of a sudden he busts out those three important words…
Wait. Didn’t the two of you just last week connect online? How can he even really know you, much less “love” you. What is up with guys saying I love you too soon?
He’s saying I love you too soon!
“Claire I really am interested in a new guy. We met online and we are still in the texting phase. But I’m feeling a lot of pressure because he says he loves me every day and we haven’t even met yet! Should I agree to a date?” — R.
Aargh. Frustrating, isn’t it? In the same way that a guy is not your boyfriend if you’ve never actually met, the words I love you should be reserved for two people who know and care deeply for each other.
Before online dating this didn’t happen so often. These days it’s more important than ever to make sure you can trust a man before you deliver too much of your heart or time to him…
Why do some men use these words too lightly?
Lots of guys are saying I love you too soon because they are trying to manipulate you.
Scammers don’t actually want a date with you, they want your money. Players don’t actually want to get to know you, they want sex.
Scammers don’t actually want a date with you, they want your money. Players don’t actually want to get to know you, they want sex. You’ll find both types saying I love you too soon.
It’s also possible he’s just clueless…
Scammers and players are so commonplace these days that ordinary men are also trying some of the tactics (like saying I love you too soon or too frequently) in order to get women to go out with them.
Here’s how to address the problem of a man saying I love you too soon (or too often):
A simple response like this should do the trick:
“I know you want to say something nice, but I believe that the words ‘I love you’ should be reserved for couples who are much farther along in their relationship than we are.”
If this doesn’t work, it’s possible he may have something more manipulative in mind.
Should you go out with him?
Wait to see how he responds to your request.
If he lays off and stops saying I love you all the time, AND he still clearly wants to meet up face to face, consider your gut.
Will you feel safe meeting him?
That’s the question you need to ask yourself.
If not, call it off.
I know there are less strong options, like inviting him out on a group date, but if a man who starts off so wrong still sets off your radar, you should listen.
Keep yourself safe, beautiful.
When you want a GOOD man, for a GOOD (and long-term!) relationship…
Dating is exhausting.
Sorting through men feels like a never-ending trial. You’re looking for a good man, a man who won’t play stupid games, make you constantly wonder if the two of you are on the same page.
You want a man who will deeply engage with you.
You want emotional openness.
The willingness to work through problems.
TRUE investment in the relationship.
That kind of respect is SHOWN, not just SPOKEN with words.
James Bauer has a video that describes the profound experience he’s had with teaching women what he calls “The Respect Principle.”
As a professional dating coach, there are few things I have to offer women that have a more deep and powerful effect in their lives.
What if you could make a man WANT to love you — not just physically — but emotionally and spiritually, for the rest of your life?
THAT’S what this is all about.
PS: If you want a deep, true, primal, REAL connection with a man that loves you for you, you need to watch this.
You’ll learn how to tap into a man’s deep psychological NEED for something only YOU can give him.
It’s fascinating how powerfully TRUE RESPECT affects EVERY aspect of your relationships.