Intimacy & Sex

How to Strut Right Out of the Friend Zone (and Make Him WANT You)

out of the friend zone

Sometimes you put yourself in the friend zone (because the two of you really are friends), but sometimes it sneaks up on you and suddenly you’re all like “Wait! What just happened? Was I just friend-zoned?”

You don’t WANT to be FRIENDS, you want to be the sexy goddess at the center of his life and lust and adoration…

You want him to wrap his arms around you at night, and breathe things into your ear that make you all shivery and hot at the same time…

So how do you get out of the friend zone and into his arms?

Here’s what you do. Imma give it to you in 3 steps plus a cherry bomb…

Out of the Friend Zone STEP 1: Stop being a friend and start being a GIRLfriend.

Don’t go out to see the game as “one of the guys,” or help him do boring tasks (goodbye sitting in the laundromat, watching clothes spin and eating tacos).

From now on, ONLY go out with him on REAL dates.

And if he’s not thinking them up and calling you to ask you out (You two have been “buddies” up to now, and nobody “dates” their “buddy.”), you take the initiative.

And no more deadly-boring or daily-routine texting, either. Stop answering his mundane “chat for hours about nothing” calls, emails, and text messages. Be sweet but unavailable.

And learn to text like the superfine hot goddess you are.

Here are a few ways you can let him know your goals for the relationship have changed (if he hasn’t already figured it out – which he may not, guys are slow on the uptake sometimes):

I’ve had to put some distance between us, because I’m not sure I can behave like “just a friend” any more…You’re too distracting for me. 😉

You look amazingly sexy in that tee shirt. Have you been working out?

Your scent is like a drug to me. Every time I get close to you I want to press my face to your chest and inhale you. : )

Was I staring at your shoulders just now? I totally lost my train of thought. You’re going to have to stop doing that to me!

I was wondering… (He says “What?”) …what it would feel like if I let you kiss me.

If he doesn’t instantly snap to (and experience difficulty with his jeans feeling too tight)… well, he may be a zombie.

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Want some jet-fueled “sexy siren” power?

Sexy SirenDon’t do this unless you’re ready for ACTION. It’s the single spiciest, juicy-good trick in any woman’s toolbox.

–> Erotic secret for women who want to (happily) shock and amaze their man

In the video (or you can click here for the article version without sound — you don’t want this overheard at work!) you’ll learn exactly what it takes to talk a sexy game with any man, and addict him to you so hard and fast he’ll never even dream of leaving…


Here’s more…

Out of the Friend Zone STEP 2: Crank up the sex-ay

Learn the sexy body moves. Get your flirt on. Unleash your inner siren.

It’s time for you to be hotter than a Texas sidewalk in June. Hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends. Aim for smokin’ hot, girlfriend!

Don’t be afraid of the more radical appearance tweaks, either. Get that racy new haircut you have been thinking about. Try a color, or highlights. Get with your best girlfriends and go get a luxe makeover together so you can learn a few new makeup tricks.

And why not consider finally signing up for those kickboxing (or powerlifting!) classes or start running, training for a triathalon, or some fun new workout.

And do a check through your wardrobe. It’s shallow but 100% true that guys DO notice. Superfox, I am SO not above a push-up bra and stockings with a line up the back….

Why? Because they make him stutter.

Out of the Friend Zone STEP 3: Change your focus

Plunge into a fresh pursuit: a new career, hobby, cause, or whatever dream you’ve been putting off.

It’s this kind of joy-filled energy that makes you shine like a fresh piece of candy to him. He’s gonna wanna lick you up. 🙂

If you’re dating other guys (and I recommend it), do it with sincerity and pleasure. When he sees how other men desperately want you, he’s gonna start accelerating his move toward securing the prize.

The faster and harder you shake things up, the more shell-shocked and drooling you’ll have him.

And now for the cherry (bomb) on top…

Ask him for “manly” kinds of help.

I’m not saying you aren’t a strong, capable woman. You clearly are. But let him be an alpha man. Let him do the stuff men are hardwired to LOVE.

Let him open the door for you, protect you in a crowd, get you things, walk you to your door (btw, if he doesn’t kiss you ’cause he’s all “friends,” feel free to radically change that opinion by laying a deep, scorching-hot one on him, with a full-body press)…

You know the kind of things I mean.

Be sure to do this with some finesse…

That means don’t over-focus on him. Don’t be available all the time.

Instead, be the sexy-hot Queen: You can’t just give ALL your time to HIM – your time is valuable and in high demand.

Now go hit him with the big guns, Gorgeous!

You know you’re ready. Light the fire and watch the flames leap for the sky. Here comes romance… And check back in and let me know how it goes!

How to learn a man’s secret fantasies (and make him TOTALLY CRAZY for you!)

If you want over 200+ ideas, phrases, and text messages to drive your man wild with desire for you, you NEED to watch this:

–> Make him shiver with desire for you (and only you)

What I love about this video is that it teaches you the secret of being INCREDIBLY sexy and alluring to a man without ever acting or feeling “slutty.” In fact, when you watch this you’ll learn how to get a man more turned on and desperate for YOU:

  • While fully clothed…
  • Acting totally innocent…
  • Than any other woman he’s ever met could while totally naked!

She gives you step-by-step instructions and tons of exact words to use to get exactly what you both want in and out of the bedroom.

He will never know what hit him!

xoxo Claire

PS: In case you’ve haven’t heard about Felicity Keith — she’s just a normal early-forties single soccer mom from Washington state. But in this amazing video she teaches you how to make a man sexually and emotionally obsessed with you without even touching him. She’s funny, sincere, smart as a whip, and I know you will love her!

10 comments on “How to Strut Right Out of the Friend Zone (and Make Him WANT You)

  1. Hi Claire! I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now and I need some advice. We have a pretty good friendship. He texts me daily and we see each other weekly (sometimes several times a week). We cuddle and have sex when I stay over at his place… but I see no spark in his eyes. I can tell he feels affection for me, but there’s no love. When we go out, it feels like we’re nothing but friends. He never kisses me unless we’re having sex. I decided to just live the moment and enjoy, but half the time I end up frustrated. I keep wondering what I can do to ignite those feelings… or if I should just give up and move on. And if I decide to move on, how do I tell him? Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!

  2. Hi Claire I read your article how to get out of the friend zone, but I don’t think any of that applies to my situation and I’m so lost. I’ve dated this guy for about a year an a half in the beginning it was good ash and then something happened he stopped talking to me I didn’t call or text him in that time either which was about 3 months then I needed something of mine back I got it back and just walked away he chased after and asked what happened I said I don’t know you quit talking to me you tell me what happened he said I don’t know other than I’ve been busy we agreed to start over but it was never the same we hung out and talked occasionally but nothing serious and once again quit talking to me for months and once again I let it be knowing this isn’t what I want and not knowing why it keeps happening. Now we are trying to be just friends and see where that goes. I don’t want to be friends and it’s hard cause I really care about him and always stuck by him.

    • Claire Casey

      Hi, jeniffer — Beautiful woman, if you don’t *want* to be friends with this man, then you shouldn’t continue to BE friends.

      And yes, it is terribly difficult to do, but if you continue to behave like a friend, that’s what you’ll have: a friendship. If you don’t want a friendship, break off the friendship. And if you want to be a girlfriend, agree only to real dates, not “friend” hangouts, texting, phone calls, etc.

      I don’t think you’re “lost” — it’s just that this is a very hard decision to make sometimes. But search your heart and make your choice, soulshine. Because only you know the way forward from here, and it’s up to you to choose your path…

      xoxo Claire

  3. Hi Claire I recently purchased your Capture his Heart package and while reading and applying realized that me and the guy I have fallen for are not even officially dating!!
    We have the best relationship and friendship and sexual chemistry of my life and at 41 years old I have experienced enough to know the real thing when I feel it!
    To make a long story short we started out as friends which developed into really great friends – which I was happy with! Then I started to develop feelings for him but kept them to myself and carried on with the friendship – no kissing, no sex, very light flirting.
    One night he came behind me and put his arms around me. He kissed me as well .I went home stunned and he told me that he couldn’t go another day without feeling what it is like to kiss my beautiful lips
    Anyway…a week later he had to leave the country due to work permit problems and we carried on texting every day sexting as well. We had sex the night before he left and we didn’t know if we would ever see each other again so it was intense.
    5 weeks went by before he got the call that his new work permit had been approved. And now he is back…
    But now for some reason he says that he doesn’t want to get attached, he loves spending time with me, thinks I am an amazing woman, would have asked me to marry him if he had met me when he was 21…but that he has never been able to make a woman happy and all his relationships have ended in despair. He says – at 36yrs old – that he wants to be alone forever because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone else and he doesn’t want to get hurt.
    He has encouraged me to date other men and said that yes, I should give up on him.
    He wants us to still be the best friends that we have come to be and he wants us to still hang out…
    I’m deeply in love with him now. I know I can’t be his friend and I can’t continue to be his friend with benefits either – we have very wild crazy sex which is always instigated by him – I always try to keep a friendly distance when we are together but he will literally drag me into bed on our nights out or pull me onto his lap on the day he is over just to fix my bedframe.
    So the last thing I said to him the day after our discussion about why he doesn’t want to date me and how he wants to be alone forever – which sounds ridiculous to me – I messaged him and said – “next time don’t mess with my emotions, if you want to be friends then make that clear and act that way.”
    He hasn’t responded and it’s been a few days
    I’m going to try out your tips on being unavailable for a few weeks and not see him even if he asks .I’m not going to message him at all
    Everyone who has seen us together says that he is in love with me. They saw it before I did. Now that I am there he has backed away…I’m distraught confused hurt and I miss him like crazy. Please help. Any feedback would be very much appreciated

  4. Claire Casey

    Hey, there S:

    It sounds to me like he is enjoying the sex without the commitment. He is being very clear about it, too — and your effort to tell him “don’t behave like that” is not going to change anything if he easily can get what he wants (sex with no commitment) from you.

    So if you want something different, you can’t tell him to change: YOU have to be the one to change.

    It’s so hard, I know. Especially when you enjoy the sex yourself! So you have to accept that he knows and has clearly communicated exactly what he wants (and doesn’t want) from/with you. Now it’s up to you to decide what you want. And if that includes wild, no-strings-attached sex with him, that’s one thing. But if it’s a relationship…

    Then you know your answer. You must break it off with him and look elsewhere.

    That said, I *do* have another article about changing a booty call into a real relationship. Pay special attention to Step #3, okay? (Step #5, too.)

    Good luck, beautiful woman. And protect your precious heart…

  5. Thanks Claire you have clarified what I know I must do. I will definitely read the article you mentioned and stick to your advice.
    The work you do is priceless and you are very much appreciated! Thanks again 🙂

  6. Hi again Claire I’ve just read that booty call article and I’m not quite clear about things. This guy and I do everything together – we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 2 months – but we see each other at least twice a week. He takes me to posh restaurants for lunch and dinner, we go to events, he came to my job summer party, I was the one he called when his best friend died overseas and he needed someone to drink and talk his sorrows over with. He confides in me about his work aspirations and shares his deepest thoughts. This has been going on for 5 months this friendship, and we’ve only had sex 4 times total.
    We are genuinely best friends and confidantes And we have really great and memorable times.
    We ended up in bed after 4 out of at least 40 outings! This is why I’m so confused. These weren’t exactly booty calls…

  7. Claire Casey

    I can see why this feels confusing, I really can. But it boils down pretty simply…

    The fact of the matter is that he has told you clearly that he is not interested in a deeper relationship. If you are interested in a deeper relationship, then you should be putting time and energy into dating other men until you find it, rather than continuing to invest in him, right?

    This is all about what YOU want the most:

    If you want to be friends with benefits with him, you certainly get to do that, and he is totally willing.

    If you want something different, it’s up to you to go after it!

    My very best to you, gorgeous. 🙂

  8. Thanks Claire. I’m going to try my best to move on!

  9. Hey Claire, so me and my friend Daniel have been flirting and acting like a couple but every time someone asks if we are dating he says no. I’m confused because If we are not dating then why are we acting like it? I would text him and if he does respond he just acts like a totally different person. How do I get him to say that we are dating?

    Please help


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